Joey: Oh God. Uh, ok, here's the thing, this is the thing, ok, the thing is... What is the thing? Ok. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice kissing her ex husband.
天哪。是這樣的。是這樣的 是怎樣？ 好。我那天去牀墊大王的賣場。看到珍妮絲在親她的前夫。
Chandler: What?
什麼？
Joey: They were in his office.
他們在他的辦公室裏。
Chandler: Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's, she's with me.
她不會親他的，她跟我在一起。
Joey: I'm telling you man, I saw it.
是真的，我親眼看到。
Chandler: Yeah, well, you're wrong! Ok, you're wrong.
你看錯了，你錯了。
Joey: I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
我沒有看錯！我巴不得我看錯了。對不起。現在覺得送灌腸劑不錯吧？
Monica: It just makes more sense as an ensemble. Right. Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.
穿整套比較不奇怪。對。也免得帽子太顯眼。
Phoebe: No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive!
你們還活着！
Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I? Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
我不是保證過沒有人會死？ 待會就知道了，借我打電話給我認識的人。
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
你用吧，我們沒錢，請便。
Phoebe: 'Hey! You're not dead! Ok, see ya!'
喂，你沒死！好，再見。
Ben: Monica.
莫妮卡。
Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?
天哪，他叫我的名字。你聽到了嗎？
Ben: Monica bang!
莫妮卡，砰！
Rachel: Ok, I heard that.
我聽到了。
Monica: Did he just say 'Monica bang'? Uh huh.
他是不是說"莫妮卡，砰"？ 嗯哼。
Monica: Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out!
天哪，他要告我的密。
Ben: Monica bang!
莫妮卡，砰！
Monica: Oh ho ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see, we all do it all the time.
小乖乖，你不能再說了。沒什麼大不了的。根本不值得一提。懂嗎？我們經常撞來撞去。
See, watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow, Monica bang! Everybody bang. Ben bang. Rachel bang. Bang, Rachel, bang! Oh, isn't that fun?
懂嗎？看我的。莫妮卡，砰！大家，砰！班，砰！瑞秋，砰！砰，瑞秋！砰！
Rachel: Look at that! Look at that! We all do it. Ok, I'm stopping now. You ok?
很好玩吧？你看！大家都在砰！我不撞了。 你還好嗎？
Rachel: Oh yeah! You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.
如果不是牀頭板，根本不值得。
Janice: How's my Bing a ling?
我的小賓賓好嗎？
Chandler: Ah, I don't know, you you tell me. Anything you ah, you wanna tell me? because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
我不知道你說呢？你有話要對我說嗎？因爲要是你，你應該，你會告訴我。
Janice: Why are your eyes so wide?
你爲什麼瞪着眼睛？
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling around with my ex! Oh no no no no, no no no no, that was you! !
你說呢？也許是因爲，我和舊情人搞在一起。不不不，不不不，那是你！！
Janice: Oh my God! ! All right! How did you know? Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
我的天！！ 很好！ 你怎麼知道？ 喬伊說的，他看到你們接吻！
Janice: In the park?
在公園裏？
Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?
不是！在他的辦公室。你們親了幾次？
Janice: Just those two!
就那兩次！
Chandler: Wh wh why, wh why, why, why was there kissing! ? There should be no kissing! !
爲什麼？爲什麼接吻？你們不該接吻的！
Janice: Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I I I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
對不起，我非常非常，我非常，抱歉，我只是！其實是，我喘不過氣來。可以給我一個袋子嗎？
Chandler: Here. Here.
拿去。
Janice: It's the receipt.
是收據。
Chandler: I'll take it! All right look, I've gotta know. Are you finished with me? Are you finished with him?
給我。聽着，我一定要知道。你跟我結束了嗎？你跟他結束了嗎？
Do you still love him? Do you still love me? All right look, I'm gonna need an actual answer here ok? So which is it, him or me?
你還愛他？你還愛我？好，聽我說。我需要明確的答案，好嗎？你選哪一個？他還是我？
Janice: I don't know.
我不知道。
Phoebe: Ok. If you're alive you answer your phone!
要是你還活着，請接電話。
Monica: Ok, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream before dinner, if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident.
班，我不會告訴爸爸，你在晚餐前喫冰激凌。你也不能說出那個小小的意外。
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I...What? !
第一，班應該不懂什麼是賄賂。第二，我 怎麼了？！
Joey: You said number two.
你說"第二"
Rachel: I also said number one.
我也說了第一。
Joey: I know.
我知道。
Ross: Hey! Everyone.
大家好。
Rachel: Hi! How's my little boy?
嗨！我的乖兒子好不好？
Rachel: He's perfect, he's never been better.
他好得很。他好得不得了。
Ross: What'd you do, take him whaling?
你們帶他去捕鯨嗎？
Ben: Monica.
莫妮卡。
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, that's great! Good job Ben.
天哪，他說了你的名字。太棒了！幹得好，班。
Ben: Monica bang!
莫妮卡，砰！
Monica: Oh, that's right, that's what I'd sound like I exploded.
哦，沒錯，那就是我爆炸的聲音。
Phoebe: Woo Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
詛咒解除了，我聯絡了所有認識的人，大家都活着。
Joey: Huh. What?
哼。 咋了？
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
醜裸男一動也不動。
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
天哪，我又殺了一個人。詛咒變強了，那麼胖的人也害得死。
Rachel: Well maybe he's just taking a nap.
也許他只是在睡覺。
Joey: I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning.
我告訴你，他從早上開始就沒動過。
Monica: All right, we should call somebody.
我們應該求援。
Ross: And tell them what? That the naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving?
說我們在偷窺的裸男不動了？
Rachel: Well, we have gotta find out if he's alive.
我們得弄清楚他的死活。
Monica: Yeah, how are we gonna do that? There's no way.
怎麼弄清楚？根本沒辦法。
Joey: Well, there is one way. His window's open, I say, we poke him. Hey! You know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason when we get Chinese food?
有一個辦法。他的窗子開着，我建議，我們戳他。我們每次喫中國菜都會留筷子。又不知道爲什麼。
Chandler: Yeah. Well, now we got a reason.
是啊。 現在有用了。
Chandler: What? Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.
怎麼用？ 我們要做一個很長的探測器。
Chandler: All right.
好。
Joey: Hey uh, what's the matter?
你怎麼了？
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
我跟珍妮絲談過了。
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
天哪，她要回到他身邊嗎？
Chandler: She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. You know I woke up this morning and I was in love, you know I was happy.
她不知道。她說她兩個都愛。早上醒來時，我在戀愛。我原本很快樂。
You know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!
那十二包保險套本來買得也值得。現在連退都不能退，因爲收據被她咬爛了。
Joey: What are you ah, what're you gonna do?
你要怎麼辦？
Chandler: Aw! I don't know, you know? What, what would you do?
不知道。你會怎麼辦？