2012年10月以下這段錄像被發現於馬爾科姆·約翰遜家中
錄像中記錄的事情 直到目前仍然是個謎
這鬼東西怎麼沒用
Why isn't this stupid thing working?
看吧 就是個垃圾
See, that's that bullshit.
百思買♥♥ 全球最大家用電器和電子產品零售集團
我要把這垃圾退給百思買♥♥
I'm taking this shit right back to Best Buy...
算了
or not.
忘了取鏡頭蓋了
Stupid lens cap.
全新照相機
Brand-new camera.
我要把一切都拍下來
I'm filming everything with this.
聖誕節 新年 女人的陰♥部♥
Christmas, New Year's, vagina.
好的 今天是大日子
All right. Today is the big day.
我女朋友姬莎要搬來了
My girlfriend Kisha's moving in.
雖然兄弟們總勸我"別讓她搬進來"
Now, all my boys keep telling me, "Don't do it, don't do it."
"一切都會被搞得天翻地覆的"
"Because everything's gonna change."
"她會霸佔你家的"
"She's gonna take over your house."
"她不會做飯"
"She's never gonna cook again."
"最糟糕的是"
"And worst of all,"
"你以後再也別想尋花問柳了"
"you're putting your dick in jail."
我覺得他們在忽悠我
I think they're tripping.
她一搬進來 一切都會無與倫比
Once she moves in, everything's gonna be perfect.
看上去不賴
Place looks nice.
是哪個好男人爲你打掃的呢
Baby boy cleaned up for you, huh?
噢 該死
Oh, shit!
羅莎
Rosa!
嘿 你得先知會一聲吧
Hey, you gotta announce yourself.
-你嚇到我了 -黑鬼你走開
You can't just creep up on me.
這是我的保姆 羅莎
Aw, come on. This is my housekeeper, Rosa.
來打個招呼
Say hi. Say hi. Say hi!
說嗨
Hi! Hola! Say Hola! Hola!
再見
Bye-bye!
不 我們要用最正確的方式打招呼
No, no. We gonna say hi the right way.
放開我 黑鬼 你幹嘛
轉圈咯
Do this. Oh!
-我老二大不大 -去你的
I'm a big bambino?
你知道我愛你的
You know I love you.
嘿 夏伊洛 跟媽咪打個招呼
Hey, Shiloh! Say hi to Mommy.
我要從後面搞你 姬莎 沒錯
I'm gonna hump you on your leg, Kisha. That's right.
而且要用我的狗嘴舔遍你的臉
And I'm gonna lick you all over your face with my dog-ball mouth.
噢 該死 她來了
Oh, shit. Here she comes.
-嗨 寶貝 -嗨 寶貝 嗨
-Hi, baby! -Hey, baby! Hi!
不要 夏伊洛 等等 別別別別
No, no, Shiloh! Wait! No, no, no, no!
夏伊洛 你幹嘛啊
Shiloh! What did you do?
-我沒見到他 -你幹嘛啊
-I didn't see him! -What did you do?
真對不起
I'm so sorry.
噢 我的天啊
Oh, my God!
-夏伊洛快呼吸 -也許它只是在裝死
-Shiloh, come on, breathe. -Maybe he's just playing dead.
它不會裝死
He doesn't know how to play dead.
它會握手 會接我扔的東西
He knows how to shake hands. He knows how to fetch.
會驢打滾
He knows how to roll over.
就是不會裝死
He don't know how to play dead.
夏伊洛 呼吸
Come on, Shiloh, breathe.
一 二 三 呼吸
One, two, three. Breathe.
-去拿起搏器 -起搏器
-Give me the jumper cables. -The jumper cables?
去給我拿該死的起搏器
Give me the goddamn jumper cables!
別死在我眼前
Don't you die on me!
發動汽車
Start the car!
準備 通電
Clear! Go!
噢 該死
Oh, shit!
去醫院找我
Meet me at the hospital!
記錯了 醫院在這邊
The hospital's that way!
還不到見上帝的時候 夏伊洛
Don't go towards the light, Shiloh!
你現在身處天堂了 夥計
You're in a better place now, buddy.
我很抱歉 真的
I'm so, so sorry.
會沒事的 寶貝
It's okay, baby.
這不是你的錯 不對 就是你的錯
It's... It's not your fault. Yes, it is.
想開點吧
You know, look... Look on the bright side.
我對狗過敏
I'm allergic to dogs.
我知道 但這正是夏伊洛的優點
I know, but that's what was so great about Shiloh.
你對它可不過敏
He was hypoallergenic.
夏伊洛
Shiloh!
噢 我的天 看看這些該死的玩意兒
Oh, my God! Look at all this shit.
好的 馬爾科姆 這是最後一個的盒子了
Okay, Malcolm, this is the last box.
你拿相機幹嘛
What's with the camera?
記錄生活的點滴
I'm documenting our lives together.
來打個招呼
Say hi.
嗨 好的
Hi! Okay.
寶貝你屁♥股♥好翹
That ass looking nice, baby.
喂喂 往上拍 我看到你在拍了
Hey, hey. Pan up, pan up. I see that.
寶貝 你真是個不折不扣的戀物癖
Baby, you are officially a hoarder.
我發誓 我要是打開某個箱子
I swear to God, I'm gonna open one of these boxes...
肯定會找到一隻死貓或者發黴三明治之類的東西
and find, like, a dead cat and an old baloney sandwich in it.
哈 哈 哈 好冷
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
噢 我的上帝 你穿得着這個嗎
Oh, my god. Do you need these?
-穿的着 這是...-什麼場合穿啊
-Yes! These are... -For what?
這是我的婚禮鞋
These are good wedding shoes!
10分滿分 你給這雙鞋多少分
One to ten, what are you feeling right now about that?
8.7分
8.7.
-那個包呢 -9分
-What do you feel about that? -Nine. Nine.
-這包值9分 -是的
-That's a nine? -Yes.
-不別拿走別 -等等 這是什麼
-No, wait! Come on. Come on. -What's this? Hold on.
這是我嬸嬸從肯尼亞帶來的
This is a box that my aunt brought from Kenya.
這個也是9分
This is a nine, too.
噢 天吶
Oh, my God!
說話
Say it.
嗨 我的名字叫姬莎·戴維斯 是個戀物癖
Hi, my name is Kisha Davis, and I'm a hoarder.
好丟臉啊
There's shame.
這裏面是你♥爸♥爸的骨灰嗎
Are these your daddy's ashes?
是的 馬爾科姆 我去哪都帶着
Yes, Malcolm. They go where I go.
那麼 他的靈魂會一直盯着我們咯
So, we're gonna have his ghost watching over us?
真令人安慰啊
That's comforting.
把他放在別的地方就行了 他喜歡看電視
Just put him in the other room. He likes to watch TV.
他都死了 想看什麼內容啊
He's dead. What's he gonna watch?
美國恐怖故事
American Horror Story?
我說親愛的 這些遊戲機要清出去
Okay, babe, these video games, they have to go.
-等等別動我的遊戲機 -它們太破舊了
-Wait. Leave my video games alone. -They're tacky.
攝影機還給我
Give me my camera!
姬莎 別玩了 你會弄壞的
Kisha, stop playing. You're gonna break it.
-纔不會弄壞呢 -還給我
-I'm not gonna break it. -Give me my camera!
你這女黑鬼 你們一家都會受到詛咒
"黑鬼"她剛纔是不是叫我黑鬼
"Negra?" Did she just call me a nigger?
什麼 什麼
What? What?
信不信踹爛你屁♥股♥
I will lambada your ass!
說英語 英語
English! English! Speak English!
寶貝 寶貝 寶貝
Baby. Baby. Baby!
你看到了 她討厭我 對吧
You know she don't like me, right?
噢 我知道發生什麼事了
Oh, I know what's going on here.
你跟羅莎上♥牀♥了
Are you banging Rosa?
施瓦辛格的醜聞在我們家上演了
You got some Schwarzenegger stuff going on in here, right?
真的嗎 是的 好的 是的
Really? Yeah, okay, yeah.
現在她還懷了我的孩子呢
She's pregnant with my love child right now.
我們要有一個說西班牙語的黑人寶寶了
Yeah, we're gonna have a nappy-haired baby that speaks perfect Spanish.
-好了別生氣了 -好吧
-Come on. Think about it. -Okay.
-你很餓嗎 -嗯
-Hungry there, buddy? -Mm-hmm.
你喫東西狼吞虎嚥的
You're over there eating like the Cookie Monster.
能讓我好好喫頓飯嗎
Can I just enjoy my food, please?
哇 有人生氣了
Wow. Somebody's crabby.
對不起 我只是累了
I'm sorry. I'm just tired.
我睡不好覺 總能聽到一些聲音
I haven't been sleeping well. I keep hearing these noises.
很嚇人的
Scary.
好吧 別害怕
Well, you don't have to be afraid, okay?
因爲你現在跟我住一起了
Because you're living with me now.
我眼皮下沒人動的了你