寫小說的麻煩在於它必須有意義 而現實生活則不然
——伊恩·M.班克斯
觸發警告
片名：碎夢彙編
我叫約翰內斯 我有一個條件
- My name is Johannes, and I have a condition.
我是人類
I am human.
當我把自己的臉摔在
I first realized that when I fell on my face
意大利海灘上的水泥板上時
on a concrete slab on a beach in Italy.
我才四歲 而我很清楚地意識到
I was four, and it was clear to me,
海灘不能被信任
beaches cannot be trusted,
我討厭意大利 夢想是會破滅的
I hated Italy, and dreams can be broken.
人類是敘事的生物
The human is a narrative being.
我們創造情感媒介 也就是所謂的故事
We construct emotional machines, so-called stories,
來交流 分享我們生活的這個世界
to communicate, to share the world in which we live
讓每個人都能有不同的體驗
and make it collectively experienceable.
我們很擅長這種事情
And we are pretty good at doing that.
從最原始的元素進化成爲靈長類動物之後
Since the primordial soup mendelized into primate brains,
我們要麼是在逃離大型貓科動物
we have either been fleeing from big cats
要麼是在告訴別人我們是怎麼逃離
or telling others about our escapes from the clutches
大型貓科動物的
of big cats.
圍坐在篝火旁
Sitting around a campfire,
闡釋和解構世界
interpreting and breaking down the world,
使之充滿意義
charging it with meaning,
不管這些故事是否符合維♥基♥百♥科♥
regardless of whether the tales hold up to a Wikipedia check
的要求
or not.
人類也是一種政♥治♥生物
The human is also a political being,
雖然我的很多成員都不贊同這個想法
although many members of my species don't like that idea.
盡力習慣吧
Get used to it.
你迴避不了政♥治♥
You can't avoid being political.
當你在沃爾瑪買♥♥一瓶無糖紅牛的時候
The moment you choose to buy a sugar free Red Bull
你就在進行一項政♥治♥行動
at Walmart, you commit a political act.
當你在pond5.com把帕切貝爾的經典作品
Same is true when you drag a royalty-free hip-hop version
（注：pond5.com是一個可以購買♥♥下載音樂和視頻的網站）
的免稅嘻哈版本放進你的購物籃裏的時候
of Pachelbel's Canon in D into your shopping basket
也是如此
at pond5.com.
政♥治♥是權力和資源在一個特定的區域裏
Politics is the practice of distribution of power
以及不同區域之間
and resources within a given community,
分配的結果
as well as the interrelationship between communities.
句號♥
Period.
我們在這個世界上寫下一個故事
We project a certain story onto the world.
如果你是左派 激進派 或者保守派分子
The story differs if you are leftist, a progressive,
這個故事就會不一樣了
or conservative.
但請放心 我認識的大多數人都自稱是
But be assured, most people I know who call themselves
無政♥府♥主義者或者愚蠢的自♥由♥主義者
anarchists are just stupid libertarians.
我們通過敘述和概念的快捷方式
We communicate our views by using narrative
來傳達我們的觀點
and conceptual shortcuts.
那是一些簡短的術語 如“自♥由♥”或“隱私”等
Abbreviated terms like 'freedom' or 'privacy,' and so on.
這些快捷方式很重要
These shortcuts are important.
如果有人把“全球變暖”稱爲不同的東西
If someone had called 'global warming' something different,
比如說“大氣癌”
let's say 'atmosphere cancer,'
我們就用不着解釋它爲什麼是一件壞事
we wouldn't have problems explaining why it's a bad thing.
我一直想要創建一個
I always wanted to create a glossary
重要術語的詞彙表 因爲日了狗的
of all-important terms, because, Jesus fucking McChrist,
它們總是在評論區和網絡上
they are always used and abused in comment sections
被大肆濫用
on the World Wide Web.
我想對這些引人注目的牛犢
I wanted to give some of these Golden Calves of Discourse
進行重新審視 解釋 評價
a second look, to explain, re-evaluate,
甚至可能會犧牲他們
and maybe even sacrifice them.
我和我的好朋友伊山拉瓦爾組隊
I teamed up with my good friend Ishan Raval,
因爲在政♥治♥遲鈍這點上他和我不相上下
who definitely matches me in my political nerdiness.
我的意思是 在我們的谷歌♥個人資料圖片中
I mean, look, we both have hands on our chins
我們都把手放在下巴上
in our Google profile pics.
哇
- [Man] Wahooo!
我們真是自命不凡
Pompous little fucks we are.
因爲我知道很多有創造力的人
And because I know a lot of creative performers
會花大力氣做一件沒意義的事
who would do pretty much anything for almost nothing,
所以我決定拍這部電影
I decided to make this film.
我還要再舉多久
How much longer do I have to hold this shit?
很重啊
It's heavy.
你可以把這件事寫進你的簡歷裏
You can put it in your resume!
拜託 再久一點
Come on, a little bit longer.
我們用的是我的車
-And we use my car.
你是運輸隊的頭頭 好嗎
You're the head of transportation fleet, okay?
所以 永遠不要忘記：
So, well, never forget:
你不討厭意大利 你討厭資本主義
You don't hate Italy, you hate capitalism.
多廣大的一個詞
What a big word.
太廣大了
So big.
資本主義
Capitalism.
儘管我認識很多單詞
One of the biggest words I know.
但這是最重要的詞彙之一
And I know a lot of words.
還有市場
There's market, too, (tone beeping)
但這聽起來有點太神祕了
but that one sounds a bit too mystical
我想那是布萊恩伊渥克
Oh, I think that's Brian Ewok!
很高興我在最喜歡的嬉皮士咖啡店兼酒吧
Good to have a comfy seat
搶到一個舒服的座位
at my favorite hipster coffee shop
享受着密♥碼♥是Helvetica的
and wine bar, enjoying free wifi from a network
免費無線網
whose password is Helvetica.
當我被朱朱夫人發現時
I'm just minding my own business
我只是在做自己的事
when I get spotted by Madame Juju,
她是友好的嬉皮士咖啡館兼酒吧老闆
the friendly hipster coffee shop and wine bar owner
她喜歡汗瑜伽
who does sweat yoga.
你好 要來點什麼
Hello, how can I help you?
一杯雙蛋酒星冰樂配上比目魚麪包塊嗎
A double eggnog frappuccino with tofu-breaded halibut?
在酒吧後面有張傳♥單♥
There's a sticker
是宣傳格林黨候選人的
for the Green Party candidate behind the bar.
哦 我喜歡格林派
Oh, I love the Greens!
如此友好 如此體貼 如此可愛
So friendly, so caring, so cuddly!
馬♥克♥思♥曾經稱國家是
Marx once called the State
整個資產階級中
a committee for managing the common affairs
一個管理公共事務的委員會
of the whole bourgeoisie.
感謝不存在的上帝
Thank the non-existing God for it,
因爲管理是可能的
because where management is possible,
管理不善也是可能的
so also is mismanagement,
資產階級的某些部分
and some parts of the bourgeoisie,
尤其是那些做瑜伽來保持健康的人
especially those who do sweat yoga
可能會被說服 從而
and keep their hearts wholesome, might be persuaded
利用這個委員會來反對自己的利益
to use that committee against their interests.
基本上 有一些人
Basically, there are people
擁有生產資料
who own the means of production,
比如說 高檔咖啡機或服務器
let's say fancy coffee machines or servers
或者農場或服務器農場
or farms or server farms.
這就是資產階級
That's the bourgeoisie.
還有一些沒有自己
And then there are people who don't own
生產資料或資本的人
the means of production or capital,
他們必須靠勞動爲生 即工人
so they have to sell their work: the workers.
所有的咖啡師和三明治制♥作♥師
That's all the baristas and sandwich artists
還有瑞安航♥空♥的接待人員都是這樣
and RyanAir check-in personnel.
但即使是資產階級 包括朱朱夫人在內
But even if the bourgeoisie, which includes Madame Juju,
在政♥治♥立場上也可能不是團結一致的
might not be united in its political allegiances,
他們的目的是一樣的
they play the same purpose.
這不是她的錯
It isn't her fault.
這不是我的錯
It isn't my fault!
在她大腦的各個角落和皮質裏
In all corners and cortices of her brain,
她可能只是把這當作她的工作
she might just regard this as her job,
一種簡單的謀生方式 甚至是一種社區服務
an innocent livelihood and even a community service.
當然了
Oh absolutely!
人們愛我
People love me!
我是來自種滿藏紅花的卡爾弗林斯的瑪吉吉倫哈爾
I am the Maggie Gyllenhaal of saffron-based cale frosting!
所有這些都可能是
All of that it might be.
但資本主義比任何生活方式和意志都要強大
But capitalism is bigger than any of our lives and wills.
它產生了一些資本家沒有意識到的淨效應
It produces net effects some capitalists don't realize.
朱朱可能不會被利潤所驅使
Madame Juju's heart may not be driven by profit,
但她的生意一定會的