我可能是第一個做這個的
I guess I'm the first one to do this.
好吧 我不知道該不該說
Well, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say.
我是新媳婦兒了
I'm now a wife.
好吧 結婚錄像
Okay, wedding video.
讓我介紹一下都有什麼好喫的東西
Let me introduce you to our delicious food.
我們這裏有素食咖喱
We got veggie korma,
咖喱羊肉 薩莫薩三角餃
lamb curry, samosas.
我正坐在個帳篷似的地方
Oh, I am sitting inside a tent of sorts,
因爲這個地方有點
because it is inside a tent
像你推薦的那個地方
similar to this one where you proposed.
因爲我們的第一次約會
For our first date,
Bea選擇了一個印度餐館
Bea chose an Indian restaurant,
第六大道上那種小餐館
you know, one of those little places on Sixth Street
點綴着五顏六色的霓虹燈
with the colored lights and the fiber-optic lamps.
除了喫了一半的時候
Yum, except that halfway through the meal,
我開始覺得胃裏
I start feeling my stomach
翻江倒海了
gurgle in this horrible food-poisoning-type way,
我甚至沒有時間向她撒謊
and I didn't even have time to lie to her.
我在那個髒兮兮的餐廳廁所裏吐了20分鐘
I spend 20 minutes in the dirty restaurant toilet
然後那個晚上其餘的時間
and the rest of the night
都在Bea家裏浴室的地板上
on Bea's bathroom floor,
因爲我實在沒勁兒去坐地鐵了
because I couldn't make it to the subway, let alone Brooklyn.
我們一直計劃着去露營好久了
Well, we'd been planning on going camping upstate for weeks,
但是 我病了
but, as you know, I got sick,
所以我們沒法去了
so we couldn't go.
我覺得你很難過 因爲你的舉止變得很奇怪
I thought you were upset, because you were acting really weird,
但是然後你 你在牀上用毯子
but then you... you built, like,
搭起來這個帳篷
this tent over our bed out of blankets,
還弄了個小爐子
and we made s'mores on the stove,
在這個小堡壘裏 你說
and then inside the fort on our bed, you said,
Bea 這應該有點浪漫了
"Bea, this was supposed to be romantic"
在星光下 而不是牀單下
"and under the stars, not sheets,"
但是你讓我覺得無比幸福
"but you make me the happiest.
你願意嫁給我嗎
Will you marry me?"
所以現在我們結婚了
And now we're married.
所以這是
So this,
這是 去死吧 印度飯
this is our, "Fuck you, Indian food."
你想要拆散我們
You tried to keep us apart,
但是去你的
but fuck you.
我們贏了
We win.
所以我們沒有弄一個傳統的訂婚蛋糕
So we didn't get a regular wedding cake.
我們決定來點兒特別的
We decided on something that was special for us instead.
-特別而且便宜 -什麼
-Special and cheap. -What?
不 我覺得有些人因爲沒有蛋糕有點意見
No, I think some people are annoyed by no cake.
管他呢 這是我們的婚禮
Who cares? It's our wedding.
以前 我孤單一個人 現在不是了
Before, I was alone, but now I'm not.
我愛你 蜜蜂蜂
I love you, honeybee.
並不夢幻 怎麼樣
It's not fancy. Is it okay?
你喜歡嗎
Do you like it?
我所看到的
Here's what I see...
不是城市
not the city,
樹林
woods.
我只是想要完美一些
I just want it to be perfect.
我只是想要和你在一起
And I just want to be with you.
好吧 來吧
All right, come on.
所以這就是著名的家族小院
So this is the famous family cottage.
等等 等等 別那麼猴急 行不
Wait, wait, wait. Not so fast, okay?
什麼 什麼
What? What? What? What?
先介紹一下環境
First, the grand tour.
這裏是客廳 注意腳下
So this is the living room. Watch your step.
你可能注意那個小斜坡
You may notice a slight tilt.
這可不怎麼安全
This is definitely unsafe.
啊哦 你就是不安全的
Oh, yeah? Well, you're unsafe.
-你不安全 -你纔不安全
-You're unsafe. -You're unsafe.
這裏是電視和錄像機
Here we have a TV and VCR
1991年就有了
from 1991.
好吧 我的意思是
Well, I mean,
誰會需要手♥機♥或者網絡呢
who needs cell service or Internet
當你看着你喜歡的VHS錄像帶的時候
when you can keep busy watching your favourite VHS tape?
這裏 是廚房♥
Over here, we have the kitchen,
還配置了一臺威力巨大的微波爐
complete with, yes, a radioactive microwave
和一個需要炭火的烤箱
and an oven that probably still uses hot coals.
-就要切入主題了 -我想要和你做♥愛♥
-You may be noticing a theme. -I want to have sex with you.
變化就是壞事
Change is bad.
似乎是個信♥號♥♥
Looks like a sign.
不 是接觸不良的電線
No, looks like bad wiring.
這裏是熊窩
This is the bear room.
-很好 -yeah
-Very good. -Yeah.
還有
And...
-爲什麼這裏叫做熊窩呢 -不
-why is it called the bear room? -No.
這是浴室
This is the bathroom.
綠色的
It's green,
很綠
very green.
這裏 這裏可以停一艘潛水艇
This is... This is where you almost drowned playing submarine.
-是的 -是的
-Yeah. -Yeah.
你是我的菜
You're my favourite.
-哪一個是我們的房♥間 -隔壁
-Which one is ours? -Next door.
木頭房♥子
The woods room...
-好吧 -因爲它有窗戶
-All right. -...because it has windows
面朝
facing...
樹林
the woods.
漆黑一片 那裏好可怕
It's dark and scary out there.
是很黑 在裏面也很可怕
It's dark and scary in here.
那些鴨子是怎麼回事
What's with the ducks?
他們是假的 中空的
They're fake and hollow, empty inside.
我小的時候常常在裏面藏東西
I used to hide things in 'em with I was little.
-嗯 -那你在這裏藏了什麼
-Yeah. -What are you hiding under here?
我的非常特別的蜜月睡衣
My very super-special honeymoon nightgown.
我愛你 蜜蜂蜂
I love you, honeybee.
對不起 對比起
Sorry. Sorry.
-你嚇了我一跳 -我睡不着了
-You are pretty creepo. -I was done sleeping.
看我找到了什麼
Look what I found.
親愛的鴨子
"Dear ducks,
我的名字是Mallard P. Quack.
my name is Mallard P. Quack.
我不是一隻真鴨子 走開
"I am not a real duck. Stay away.
翻譯 呱呱
"Translation: Quack, quack.
呱 呱 呱 呱 呱
Honk, quack, quack, quack, honk."
有牛奶嗎
Did we get milk?
你在放在這裏了 對嗎
You put it in here, right?
是 不 在冰箱裏
Yeah, no, it's in the fridge.
現在 然後 嗨嗨
Now, then... Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-老婆 -嗯 相敬如賓啊 官人
-Wife... -Oh, how gracious of you, husband.
折騰一晚上了 你應該休息了
After last night, you deserve to relax.
歇歇你的子♥宮♥
Rest your womb.
什麼 子♥宮♥
What, my womb?
是啊
Yeah.
-爲什麼你會這麼說 -我不知道 我
-Why did you say that? -I don't know. I don't know. I'm...
沒有什麼特別的意思
I didn't mean anything.
我要做煎餅了
I'm gonna make the pancakes now.
-只是 -什麼
-It's just... -What?
好吧 我不知道
Well, I don't know.
脫口而出了 什麼
Just say it. What?
你想要孩子嗎
Do you want to have a baby?
不 什麼 不
No. What? No.
我不知道我爲什麼那麼說 子♥宮♥
I don't know why I said, "Womb."
我只是 我只是想要調侃一下幹♥你♥太猛了
I was... I was just teasing about how hard I fucked you.
好了嗎
Okay?
好吧
All right.
怎麼了
What is it?
-我不知道 -好吧 行
-I don't know. -Okay. Cool.