咱倆第一次約會 你知道 我對你是什麼印象嗎？
First time we hung out, what did I think of you?
嗯
Yeah.
那是什麼時候 那是…
When was that, was that the night that...
你別鬧啊
Come on, you're kidding.
記得我去威洛那裏的一間公♥寓♥
Remember I brought Willow over to that apartment...
你和馬特在東村？
you and Matt had in the East Village?
是的 當然 我記得
Yes, of course, I remember.
我記得 你那時候特別性感
Let's see, I thought that you were really hot...
我總感覺 我在睡夢中你會謀殺了我這個混♥蛋♥想法
but also that you may murder me in my sleep one day.
閉嘴吧你
Shut up.
你要放一個茶包還是兩個？
You want one tea bag or two?
就我這樣？你就覺得我很性感？
That's it? You just... you thought I was hot?
是啊 我也根沒被你赤身誘惑過
Yeah, I mean, I had never seen you naked before.
那是一個美好的夜晚
That was a great night.
我他媽的想念紐約了
I fucking miss New York.
我們在那快活的時候 你竟然給我想念紐約
When we were there, you missed L.A.
我記得那天晚上看着你…
Okay, I remember looking at you that night...
覺得你跟其他人都不一樣
and thinking you weren't like anyone I'd ever met before.
我覺得你很特別
I thought that you were very special.
你要蜂蜜嗎？
Do you want honey?
一個茶包行嗎 親愛的
One tea bag and yeah, honey.
你難道都不問問我嗎？
Aren't you gonna ask me what I thought?
哦 是的 當然
Oh, yeah, sure.
沒關係
Never mind.
好的 這是你的茶
Okay, here's your tea.
你真的得把這張沙發扔掉了
You really need to get rid of this couch.
我纔不幹 我很喜歡這個的
I can't do that, I'm sorry. I like it too much.
它都舊了 我一點也不喜歡
Well, it's old and it's disgusting...
即使是善意 你也會果斷拒絕了
and even Goodwill would reject it at this point.
所以 到了你該承擔責任的時候了
So, I think it's time for you to take it upon yourself...
你想要我做什麼就做什麼 在一天中的任何時候？
To just do whatever you want me to, at all times of the day?
麻煩你了
Please.
讓我看看你
Look at you.
-等等 停 停 -怎麼了？
- Wait, stop, stop! - What?
-我的陰♥道♥環好像掉了 -什麼？
- I think my Nuva Ring fell out. - What?
（注：陰♥道♥環是婦女自己就可以輕鬆將其置入陰♥部♥ 每月置入一次 就不需要採取其他避孕措施了）
我感覺不到它在裏面
Now I don't feel like it's in there.
你能感覺的到嗎？
You can feel that?
它看起來像什麼？
What does it look like?
就像一個發光的手鐲
Like a glow bracelet.
找不到了
It's not in the hat.
怎麼辦呢？
Is that it?
你知道HBOGO嗎？
You know what's on HBOGo?
（注：HBOGO是美國付費電視臺 會有大尺度或者R級影片 以及體育賽事）
什麼？
What?
史蒂芬霍金的電影
The Stephen Hawking movie.
我們看些做♥愛♥的電影 你想看嗎？
We were just like... fucking. You want to watch that?
不好吧
I don't feel good.
-等等 我只是 … -拜託嘛？
- Wait, I just... - Please?
這個時候你讓我去定影片 算了吧
I can't go from almost fucking to Hawking, I just can't.
你可以的
You can.
看在你生病的份上
Only 'cause you're sick.
媽的 現在幾點了？
Shit, what time is it?
馬蒂在外面 我跟她說和我們一起去馬里布
Matty's out front, I told him he could ride with us to Malibu.
我們真得給他找個女朋友
We really need to find him a girlfriend.
你表妹怎麼樣？
How about your cousin?
威拉？她會像螳螂一樣把他喫掉的
Willa? She'd eat him up like a praying mantis.
嗨 你在家嗎？
Hi, are you at mine?
嘿 我到了 給我開門
Hey, I made it! Let me in.
我在歐文家睡的 抱歉
I slept at Owen's actually, sorry!
但我在花盆下給你留了把鑰匙
But I left you a key under the flower pot.
我們很快就要走了 在馬里布見面吧
We're leaving soon, so just meet us in Malibu.
哦 嗯
Oh, uh...
-哦 對不起 -謝謝
- Oh, sorry, child lock. - Thank you.
等等 等等 看看你這
Hold on, hold on. Here you go.
-有什麼東西嗎？-是的
- What was it too many? - Yeah.
-好了 -好了 走吧
- It's good. - Well, now.
一定要在威拉來之前給捯飭立立整整的
Gotta get you some sun before Willa gets here, you know?
你看起來像蒂爾達斯溫頓
You look like Tilda Swinton.
-你要來點嗎？ -不要
- Do you want some? - No, I don't.
-我不喜歡 -這多好啊
- I don't like it. - It's so good.
太噁心了 每個人都用手伸進去拿
It's gross, everyone puts their hands in there.
-但這是好東西 - 太髒了
- But it's the good stuff. - No, it's not.
全在你的牙齒裏
It's all in your teeth.
那麼你那個性感的表妹什麼時候到
So when is your hot cousin get here?
她只是搬到我這裏來
Okay, no, she literally just moved here.
不要打她的主意 不然有你好果子喫
Do not pull a Matt on her, it will not end well for you.
-她很性感 -她很性感
- She's hot. - She is hot.
她會來的 對吧？
And she's coming, right?
是啊 她打優步過來了 你開心嗎？
Yeah, she's in an Uber, you happy?
（注：優步一個可以打車的軟件 類似於滴滴）
-哈莉 最近怎麼樣 ？-哦 嗨
- Hallie, what's up? - Oh, hi.
很高興你們能來 想喝杯啤酒嗎？
Glad you guys made it, would you like a beer?
好的 謝謝
Yeah, thanks.
我想要一個 謝謝
I'd love one, thanks.
老實說 我他媽的要尿尿了
Honestly, I gotta fucking pee so bad...
我打賭你在我之前就會憋不住尿？
Wanna bet you break the seal before I do?
如果你贏了 我就說服哈莉和你談談
If you win, I'll convince Hallie to talk you up with Willa.
如果我贏了 你得給我你的 Bang Bros密♥碼♥
If I win... you have to give me your Bang Bros password.
（注： Bang Bros是色♥情♥網♥站♥）
-成交 -成交
- Deal. - Done.
你真是個幸運兒 你知道嗎？
You are one lucky fuck, you know that?
-什麼？-我只是說放輕鬆
- What? - I'm just saying you're free.
放輕鬆 我希望你放輕鬆
You're free! I wish I was.
希望我放輕鬆？好吧 該死的...
You wish you were free? All right, fucking Ted Nugent...
你想知道我是怎麼放鬆的嗎?
well, you wanna know what I do with my freedom?
昨天晚上 我喫了一整隻烤雞
Last night, I ate an entire rotisserie chicken...
拉肚子也拉了12次
and diarrhea'd like 12 times.
我只睡了三個小時 可想而知我的腹瀉多嚴重
I only had three hours sleep, 'cause I had such bad diarrhea.
-嗯嗯 -哈 -嗨
- Uh-huh, uh-huh. - Hi.
-我愛你-什麼意思？
- I love you. - What was that?
-什麼？-你們在幹什麼？
- What? - What were you guys doing?
-你玩瘋了 -爲什麼？你覺得他很上鏡嗎？
- Don't be crazy. - Why, you think he's photogenic?
媽的 我輸了 憋不住了
Oh, fuck, this, I lose.
老實說 你讓我在朋友面前有點難堪
Honestly, you embarrass me in front of my friends.
他不喜歡做什麼事 也不愛玩 就在享受那個氛圍
He's not like doing anything, stop being crazy and have fun.
哦 我的天啊 我的天哪
Oh my God! Oh my God!
哦 天哪 我很抱歉 威拉
Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Willa.
你怎麼知道我的名字？
Wait, how do you know my name?
我們已經見過好幾次了
Oh, we've met... several times.
我是歐文最好的朋友 馬特
I'm Owen's best friend, Matt.
媽的 真抱歉
Oh, yeah, shit, sorry.
我記性不好 又有點臉盲
I'm just really bad with names and faces.
-所以...？ -我想
- So, like, people? - I guess.
現在我們互相認識了
Now we really know each other.
-你好 -你好 寶貝
- Hi. - Hi, babe.
你們見面的方式 也太吊了吧
Look at us, just "meeting up." So casual.
別鬧 別鬧
Stop, stop.
明亮的燈光感覺很好
♪ Bright lights feel alright ♪
我今晚還會再見到她的
♪ I'm gonna see her again tonight ♪
但當我看到你我想離開
♪ But then I see you and I wanna go ♪
在海灘溫暖的地方
♪ Where the beach is warm ♪
我不會被刺痛 也不會被我激怒
♪ And I won't get stung And I won't get stormed by ♪
關於你的記憶
♪ Memories of you ♪
寶貝就是你的感覺
♪ Baby is this how you feel ♪
我想知道你是怎麼想的
♪ I wanna know wanna know Is this how you feel ♪
我想知道你是怎麼想的
♪ I wanna know wanna know Is this how you feel ♪
我想知道的是你是怎麼想的寶貝
♪ I wanna know wanna know Is this how you feel baby ♪
這就是你的感覺 就是你的感覺寶貝
♪ Is this how you feel Is this how you feel baby ♪
嘿 你爲什麼表現的這麼奇怪？
Hey, hey... why are you acting so weird?
我很好 我們還是快點回家吧
I'm fine. Maybe let's just go home soon.
你不想看煙火
You don't wanna watch the fireworks...