晚安 我是呆頭
Good evening. I'm Butt-head.
您觀賞的電影
The movie you are about to see
是以特殊的3D攝影技術拍攝而成
will be presented using special 3D technology.
您即將收看的是
You will see the Jackasses
前所未有的"蠢蛋搞怪秀"
like no human being has ever seen them before.
3D．
In three dimensions.
爲了這個新的體驗
In order to experience this new dimension,
你必須戴上在外頭他們給的特製眼鏡
you must put on the special glasses that you were given in the lobby.
這會很屌♥的喔
This is gonna be cool.
感覺沒啥不同的耶 呆頭
Doesn't really look any different, Butt-head.
哇喔 嘿 比維斯你看我的手
Whoa! Hey, Beavis, look at my hand.
它變3D了
It's in 3D.
真的嗎 我沒看到...
Really? I don't see...
真炫 感覺你真的打了我一拳耶
That's amazing! It felt like you really hit me!
這幾乎就像你真的手
It's almost like your hand really...
哇喔 這真是驚人的技術
Wow! It's amazing technology!
等一下
Wait a second.
好了 坐好 享受電影吧
So sit back and enjoy the movie.
這肯定是2D
That was definitely 2D.
笨蛋
Dumb-ass.
嗨 我是 約翰尼·諾克斯維爾
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
歡迎收看"蠢蛋搞怪秀"
Welcome to Jackass.
我是 約翰尼·諾克斯維爾 這是"擊個掌"
My name is Johnny Knoxville, and this is the High Five.
喔 我的老天爺啊 早安
Oh, my goodness. Good morning!
-操 -喔不
-Fuck. -Oh, no.
-耶 鄧恩你好嗎 -你好嗎 啊宅
-Yeah, Dunn. What up, brother? -What's up, nerd?
-你好嗎 兄弟 -你好嗎 啊宅
-Whassup, dude? -What's up, nerds?
老兄 你也太會裝了吧
Dude, you played it off so good.
他說"你好嗎鄧恩"
He said, "What's up, Dunn?"
再來 再來
Reset, reset.
厄爾文進來了 我們要讓他拿着
Ehren's walking in, and we're gonna have him bring
滿托盤的湯
in a whole tray full of soup.
-你好嗎 -放裏邊
-How you doing, guys? -Pop it in there.
-他可能不會中計 -啥
-He's not gonna do it. -What?
我想他可能不會中計
I don't think he's gonna go for it.
-你好嗎 厄爾文 -你好嗎 老兄
-What up, Ehren? -What's up, dude?
很給力啊 老兄
Help us crowd, brother.
他中計啦
He fell for it!
灑了滿身湯
He fell for the soup!
歡迎回來 小姐們 我被你們陰到了
Welcome back, ladies. You got me.
我的老天啊
Oh, my God!
看看托盤 他把它摔爛了
Look at the tray! He broke it in half, dude!
-你可以來個擁抱 -托盤整個爛了
-You can hug me for that. -The tray broke.
我不敢相信他中計了"你可以幫忙把湯拿進來嗎"
I can't believe he fell for it. "Can you bring the soup in?"
"我們需要你幫忙把托盤上的湯拿進廚房♥"
"We need you to bring this tray of soup into the kitchen."
這些全是麪粉 給我們的朋友 巴姆
This is all flour for our friend, Bam.
他進來的時候我們要陰他
We're gonna antique him when he gets here.
-喔 Ok -他進來了
-Oh, OK. -He's walking in.
-你好 -你好嗎
-What's up? -What up?
還好 近來可好 擊個掌
Not much. How you been? High five!
這是目前最讚的一次啦
That was the best one so far!
-媽呀 -幹♥你♥媽♥的我被你們陰了
-Oh, my God! -You guys done kicked my fucking ass.
他被陰了
He got antiqued!
-我還來不及反應 -實在有夠讚 你幾乎飛了起來
-I was so not ready for that. -That was so good! You went flying.
-大家早 -早啊 巴姆
-Good morning, man. -Morning, Bam!
您好勒 幹
Howdy. Goddamn!
在大學的日子裏 沒幾個人認識我們
Not too many people knew us back in our college days,
但是 我們仍舊很狂野
but, man, we were wild!
我的意思是 我們舉辦了溼T恤大賽
I mean, we were having wet T-shirt contests,
以及 約翰尼·諾克斯維爾 春假之王
And Johnny Knoxville, the king of spring break!
我是 約翰尼·諾克斯維爾 這是 Jet Ski
I'm Johnny Knoxville. This is the Jet Ski.
老兄
Dude.
夭壽喔
Holy shit!
你剛好從頂部擦過去
You just barely clipped the top.
他完全的降落
He totally landed it.
-我飛了多遠 -很遠啦 老兄
-How far did I go? -You went far, man.
我嚇死了 兄弟
I was scared, man.
在春假期間 我見過很多瘋狂的東西
I've seen a lot of crazy shit during spring break,
但這是最讚的啦
and that took the cake, man.
我沒有準確的着陸
I didn't exactly stick the fuckin' landing.
-不 我覺得你有 -是啊 你有啦
-No. I think you did. -Yeah, you did!
春假之王
The king of spring break!
幹 我就知道我們不該
Shit. Dude, I knew we shouldn't have done this
在我老爸家搞這個
at my fuckin' dad's house.
他對我逃學的事已經很火了
He's already pissed about me fuckin' skipping school.
他會殺了我
He's gonna cut me off.
我的零用錢飛了
That's coming out of my allowance.
我是 斯蒂沃...喔操
I'm Steve-O... Oh, fuck!
我爲什麼要當 斯蒂沃
Why do I have to be Steve-O?
-很快就過去了 -耶 耶 耶
-It'll be so quick. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
答對了
You got it.
我是 斯蒂沃
I'm Steve-O,
這是 三通球
and this is Tee Ball.
這一球直接擊中了小♥弟♥弟♥
That was a direct ding-ding hit.
這隻會越來越糟
It's only getting worse and worse.
你是我見過最好的防守隊員 斯蒂沃
You're the best fielder I ever saw, Steve-O.
有夠讚
Great job.
正中...
Right down the middle.
直球...
Line drive.
我是 戴夫·英格蘭 這是 蹦極布吉
I'm Dave England, and this is the Bungee Boogie.
衝啊
Go.
剛那下有爽到
That was thrilling.
-幹啥小 -再試一次
-What the fuck? -Let's try it again!
衝啊
Let go.
操
Shit!
-你還好吧 -恩 超好
-You OK, dude? -Yeah, super good.
-真的 -Ok
-Ready? -OK.
我的嘴脣
My lip.
-準備衝了喔 -告訴我什麼時候該...
-Here we go. -Tell us when.
-衝 -準備...衝
-Go ahead. -Step... go!
這真是相當令人印象深刻
That was actually pretty impressive.
我是說 雖然不是滿分 但還是相當令人印象深刻
I mean, it wasn't a slam, but it was still pretty impressive.
...這個真的會令人印象深刻了...
But this is really impressive.
-好了嗎 -感覺似乎很危險啊
-Ready? -This seems dangerous.
...上啊
And go!
幹♥他♥媽的還好我有戴頭盔
Fuck the helmet, give me a back brace.
兄弟 你喫屎了
Man, you ate shit!
-痾...應該有效啊 -我以爲會成功的
-Well, that worked. -I thought you had that.
...衝
And go!
嘿 這裏有個小瀑布
Hey! There goes the pool!
普雷斯頓 有猛到
Preston. That was awesome.
...在電視上看到我...
...start to see me on TV...
這邊到底有多少蜜蜂呢
How many bees are we working with here today?
每個蜂箱 可能有一萬至五萬只蜜蜂
Each hive, probably anywhere from ten to 50,000 bees.
它們是非洲蜂 所以多少有點暴躁
They are Africanized, so they will be a little bit more testy.
你覺得這些傢伙爲什麼會被螫呢
What do you think the chances are of these guys getting stung today?
毫無疑問 他們穩被螫的
They're gonna get stung. There's no doubt in my mind.
當你丟球打擾它們 鐵定會被螫的
When you hit a ball full of bees, you're gonna get stung.
你覺得我們得拔多少蜂刺呢
How many bee stings do you think we can take?
我覺得大概一百根就可以殺了一個人
I think it takes about a hundred to kill a man.
-什麼 -這有五萬只蜜蜂
-What?! -There's 50,000 bees in there.
你覺得這是我唬人的嗎
Did you just make that up, please?
-我不覺得我是唬人的 -啥
-I don't think I made it up. -What?!
每個蜂箱有五萬只蜜蜂耶
There's 50,000 per hive.
只要在五萬只裏被螫一百次就死了耶
50,000 and it takes 100 to kill a man?
如果我沒錯的話啦 一百隻蜜蜂就可以殺死你
I think it's about a hundred bees can kill you, if I'm not mistaken.
-我們在這做啥 -拍電影啊
-What are we doing here? -Making a hit movie.
去被螫99次就好了
Go for 99 and then take off.
這應該會惹火它們吧 對不
That's gotta piss 'em off too, right,
-把它們灌進那個 -喔 或許吧
-just being poured in there? -Oh, maybe.