溫柔地愛我 深情地愛我
Love me tender, love me dear
告訴我你是我的
Tell me you are mine
穿越歲月
I'll be yours
我將永遠屬於你
Through all the years
直至天荒地老
Till the end of time
當最終我的夢想實現了
When at last my dreams come true
親愛的我知道
Darling, this I know
無論你去什麼地方
Happiness will follow you
幸福都將伴隨你
Just before I go.
我叫泰德·摩根
My name is Ted Morgan.
此刻 我正在經歷死亡
Right now I'm moments away from death.
儘管如此 你們也沒必要覺得難過
No reason for you to feel bad, though.
我就一點都不難過
I mean, I don't.
這其實我是一生中
This is actually the first time in my life
第一次完成了我定的計劃
that I've accomplished something I set out to do.
死在沃姆斯塔湖 很適合我
And it's fitting for me to die here in Lake Wamsutta
說實話 這可能是唯一一個
because, to be honest, it's probably the only place
我真正感覺到活着的地方
I ever really felt alive.
我小時候 經常跟爸爸來這裏
I used to come here with my dad when I was a kid,
但是我們不是過來釣魚的
but we didn't come here to fish.
我們還有更重要的計劃
No, we had bigger plans.
看到牌子上的東西了嗎?
See that thing in the sign?
那是華米 這是我的家鄉
That's Wammy, my hometown's answer
對尼斯湖水怪做出的回應
to the Loch Ness monster.
不過華米是真的
But Wammy was real.
我爸爸真正拍到過它
We had actual footage shot by my dad,
還有當地的酒鬼目擊者 也見到過
plus eyewitness accounts from local alcoholics.
我爸看過世間的一切美好事物
My dad saw the good in everything.
他告訴我 這個世界是個安全祥和的好地方
He taught me that the world was a safe and decent place.
其實不然
Only it wasn't.
我還沒意識到這一點時 他就生病了...
He got sick and before I knew it...
他去世了
he was gone.
那天我的哥哥幸運帝第一次
My brother Lucky comforted me that day
也是這一生中 唯一一次安慰我
for the first and only time in his life.
但是他替代不了 我爸在我心中的位置
But he couldn't take my dad's place.
快去 坐下 你怎麼回事?
Go! Sit! What's wrong with you?!
在電影裏 有同情心的老師 通常平易近人
In the movies, a sympathetic teacher often steps up.
但是埃德溫娜·勞倫斯老師 從來都不是
But Edwina Lawrence never went to the movies.
我用畫畫來表達自己的感受
I used my art to express myself
然後我展示給他們看
and I showed them.
不過接着就被教育了
But then they showed me.
他們搶走了我最好的朋友
- They took my best friend. -
我媽媽也一直沒有找到 能夠替代我爸爸的人
My mother never found a man to replace my dad either.
所以她愛上了金...
So she fell in love with the King...
名叫雪莉
named Shirley.
那時候 我經常受學校惡霸的虐待
Meanwhile, I was being tortured by the school bully,
羅力·斯坦斯菲爾德
Rawly Stansfield.
等我長大了後
So when I was old enough,
我儘可能的搬得遠一點
I moved as far away as I could
我再也沒想起華米了
and I never thought of Wammy again.
我覺得相信有華米 是件很傻的事
It was a silly thing to believe in anyway.
從我現在的處境 你也可以看得出
As you can tell by where I am right now,
生活並沒有好起來
life never got much better.
因此我去了西邊 開始我的生活
So I went out west where I just blended in.
我在一家中等的公♥司♥
I worked my way up to a mid-level job
找了一份中等的職位...
at a mid-level company...
看着歲月流逝
and watched the years go by,
失去了人生的安全感
all from the safety of a mid-level life.
嘿 快走 快走
Hey, come on. Let's go. Come on.
然後我遇到了佩妮 -過來
And then I met Penny. - Here we go.
哇 它還真是重
Wow, he's really heavy.
我叫佩妮
I'm Penny.
我叫泰德
I'm Ted.
那3年時間 她就是我的全部
For three years, she was everything to me.
而我不是她的全部
Everything I wasn't.
佩妮熱愛生活
Penny loved life
我卻愛佩妮
and I loved Penny.
很不幸 內特也愛她
Unfortunately, so did Nate,
是她的吉他老師
her guitar teacher.
你以爲我想要這樣的結局嗎? 泰德
Do you think this is how I wanted it to end, Ted?
我以爲我們可以共同成長
I thought that we could grow together,
但是你停滯不前
but you are stuck.
要是我沒有你 我要怎麼辦?
What am I supposed to do without you?
你對我做過什麼了? 泰德
What did you ever do with me, Ted?
你根本沒有熱情
You have no passion
我不想像你這樣虛度光陰
and I don't wanna end up like you.
你還不如去死吧
You might as well be dead.
也許她說的對
Maybe she was right.
也許我真該死
Maybe I should just end it.
畢竟 到頭來 沒有一個可以安慰我的人了
After all, there was no one left to talk me out of it.
就連陌生人都覺得 我在浪費空氣
Even total strangers agreed that I was wasting air.
這已經很明顯了
It was obvious to me.
是時候離開人世了
It was time to punch out.
但是我不想像這個傢伙一樣離開
But I didn't want to go out like this guy.
我的人生徹底失敗了
My life had been a complete failure, sure,
但是我至少還有選擇死亡方式的權利
but at least I could get my death right.
在我臨走之前 我要回到肯普頓
I needed to go back to Kempton and confront my own predators.
去面對我的敵人
Just before I go.
嘿 泰德
Hey, Ted!
泰德 快過來
Teddy! Over here!
你還有散♥彈♥槍♥
You got shotgun.
親愛的 孩子們
Honey! Kids!
他們肯定會很興奮
They're gonna freak out.
嘿 大家都快過來
Hey, everybody gather round.
這兒 你坐這裏
Here. You sit here.
不用 你別動
No, no, you stay.
好了 家庭大團聚
Okay, okay, fam damily.
你們都還記得泰德叔叔嗎?
You all remember your Uncle Ted?
他是我唯一的弟弟
He's my only brother.
他要過來跟我們住一段時間
He's gonna be staying with us for a while.
我們知道 爸爸 -好的...
- We know, Dad. - Right...
但是你們不知道爲什麼
but what you don't know is why.
我可以直說嗎? 泰迪
And, uh... can I be frank here, Teddy?
最好別說 -你們的泰德叔叔來這裏
- Preferably not. - Your Uncle Ted's here
是因爲你們的佩妮阿姨 你們好像只見過兩次
'cause your Aunt Penny, who you only met, like, twice
而且是很多年前的事了
a hundred years ago,
現在 注意聽 我告訴你們
and now-- warning, I'm gonna talk to you
我當你們是成年人 她是個萬人洞
like we're adults now-- is a cunt.
好了 我有點困了 -你們都瞭解我的
- Okay, I'm a little sleepy. - Now, those of you who know me
我通常都不會用這些詞的
know that I don't throw that word around lightly.
這是髒話 是罵人的話
It's an ugly word, it's a disgusting word.
它是一個大洞洞 生小孩的地方
Great orifice. Gives us babies,
但是有時候是個很惡劣的詞
but it's a terrible word sometimes,
但是你們的阿姨就像個陰♥道♥
but your aunt is a cunt.
所以我不想聽到"佩妮"這個名字
So I never want to hear the word "Penny"
都不準說
spoken ever again.
等你想說"佩妮"的時候 你就用"陰♥道♥"代替
When you think you want to say "Penny," you use cunt instead.
要是我們在銀行 想要一卷一便士的鈔票怎麼辦?
What if we want to cash in a roll of pennies at the bank?
那我們可以說嗎? -不行
- Do we say it then? - No.
你看着銀行職員 然後說
You look that teller in the eye and you say
你想要一卷一便士的"陰♥道♥"
you would like some cash for this roll of cunts.
我允許你說 我可以在紙條上簽字什麼的
You have my permission. I'll sign a slip or something.
哥 拜託 -不好意思 我跑題了
- Luck, come on. - I'm sorry, I digress.
儘管他也是個混♥蛋♥
And even though he's been kind of a dick
過去兩年裏 幾乎沒有打過電♥話♥或什麼的
for barely calling or anything for the past two years,
這已經不重要了
doesn't matter anymore...
因爲我的寶貝弟弟回來了
'cause my baby brother's back.
好了 我現在有點激動
Okay, I'm getting a little emotional here.
你們都知道 我哭的時候 會亂說話
And you all know I break things when I cry,
我還是讓我的弟弟泰德說吧
so I'm gonna let little brother Ted speak.