Hey, you got a permit for those guns?
I got your permit right here.
Fuck this game.
We need backup, we need Kung Fury.
Yeah, that's my bicep.
One second babe.
We got an arcade machine down here going crazy,
在街上見人就殺 簡直是破壞 混亂 恐怖
it is killing everybody, it's destruction, chaos, terror-
What are you gonna do?
I'm a cop and damn good at my job.
It all began years ago.
In the line of duty,
me and my partner were chasing down
a mysterious Kung Fu-master.
You're under arrest, punk.
Show us your hands.
Good work, Dragon.
You could have killed both of us with that crazy stunt.
But goddammit, you're the best partner I've ever had.
Thanks, I learned from the best.
You're like a father to me.
With one fatal blow, he hit my partner.
I could tell he was dead straight off.
Before I could pull the trigger
I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra.
I blacked out.
And saw images of ancient Shaolin temples and monks,
mastering the art of Kung Fu.
There was an ancient prophecy,
about a new form of Kung Fu so powerful,
only one man could master it.
The chosen one.
When I woke up,
I saw the Kung Fu master running towards me.
I could feel my body mutate
into some sort of Kung Fu freak of nature.
You are the chosen one!
- 叩叩 - 是誰啊
- Knock, knock. - Who's there?
As a memento,
I put on a strip of cloth from the dead Kung Fu master.
I decided I would use my new super Kung Fu powers
to fight crime.
So, I became the best cop in the world.
I became, Kung Fury.
I don't wanna hear it Kung Fury.
I just got back from city hall, $50 million worth of damages,
and I got the mayor up my ass
like a fag on Viagra.
How am I going to explain this to the press, hm?
You just destroyed an entire city block for Christ's sake.
Didn't you tell me to block it out?
I told you do it by the book.
Cut the bullshit.
Nobody else could have stopped
that arcade machine and you know it.
Oh man, listen to me Kung Fury.
You need to start following the rules like the rest of us,
so I'm assigning you a new partner.
什麼 拉倒吧 我一向都是單打獨鬥
What? Hell no, I work alone.
Not anymore you don't.
Say hi to your new partner, Triceracop.
Very nice meeting you Kung Fury,
looking forward to working with you.
You're like a father to me.
I work alone.
Either you team up with Triceracop,
or you're off the case.
I'm not off the case,
對 對 我驗完血了
Yeah Yeah, I did the blood test.
It was positive, yeah?
What the hell are you talking about?
Yeah no problem.
Give me the phone.
What the hell is this?
- 我是邁克尼克斯首長 - 是警♥察♥局麼
- Chief McNickles speaking. - Is this the police?
- 沒錯 是警♥察♥局 - 幹♥死♥你♥
- Yeah, this is the police. - Fuck you!
I need someone to trace that call!
But that's impossible!
Not for me it isn't.
Hackerman, he's the most powerful hacker of all time.
I was able to triangulate the cell phone signal
and trace the caller.
His name is Adolf Hitler.
Hitler, he's the worst criminal of all time.
Do you know him, sir?
I guess you could say that.
In the 1940's, Hitler was a Kung Fu champion.
He was so good at Kung Fu,
that he decided to change his name to Kung Fuhrer.
But he didn't stop there.
He knew of the Kung Fury prophecy,
and wanted to claim the throne.
He and his posse of Nazi soldiers
conducted experiments for years.
But they weren't able to figure out
how to master the art of Kung Fury.
And one day,
he disappeared from the face of the earth.
And no-one has seen him ever since.
I guess he figured if he could find and kill the chosen one,
he would become Kung Fury himself.
He must have traveled in time in order to get here,
that's probably why he disappeared.
So, what're you gonna do?
I'm gonna go back in time to Nazi Germany,
and kill Hitler, once and for all.
So, how are you gonna do that?
I'm not sure.
I need some sort of time machine.
Wait a minute,
using an RX modulator, I might be able to conduct
a mainframe cell direct and hack the uplink to the download.
What does that mean?
只要算法♥正♥確 我可以黑進時間 把你弄回去
With the right algorithms, I can hack you back in time.
Just like a time machine.
Well then, it's hacking time.