深呼吸 並且從頭開始
Take a deep breath and start at the beginning.
告訴他們我們第一次是如何相遇的
Tell them how we first met.
嗨 嗨
Hi. Hi.
告訴他們
Tell them that
自從那時起 我們分享彼此的夢
ever since we shared our dreams...
我昨晚做了一個夢
I had a dream last night.
那是艾力克斯最奇怪的一個夢
...even Alex's weirdest ones.
你知道划艇嗎
You know a rowing boat?
你知道艇上有小圈圈 使槳固定在艇上嗎
That little curvy bit the oar sits in?
-順代帶一提它叫槳鎖 -一個什麼
-It's called a rollock by the way. -A what?
槳鎖 像是念"bollock" 只是用"R"當開頭
Rollock, like "bollock" with an "R."
那玩意是我 我是那玩意
That was me. I was that thing.
不 讓它變成我們的小祕密吧
No. Keep that as our secret.
羅茜 羅茜 是時候羅
Rosie? Rosie, it's time.
告訴他們這是
Tell them that this is,
這一定必須是
that this has to be...
所有人注意一下
Everybody!
這是在我人生中 最快樂的一天
...one of the happiest days of my life.
拜託
Please!
對那些我還沒
For those I haven't had the
打過招呼的朋友們 你們好
chance to say hi to properly,
我是羅茜
I'm Rosie.
而這一定是
And this has got to be
我人生中最快樂的一天
one of the happiest days of my life.
十二年前 羅茜的18歲生日
雖然因爲喝太醉而沒什麼印象了
再一杯
Shots!
碧昂絲
Yeah! Beyonce!
-嗨 艾力克斯 -最近如何啊 兄弟
-Hi, Alex. -How's it going, mate?
還行啦
All right.
是艾力克斯歐
It's Alex!
這整件事都是我的錯
It was totally my fault, the whole thing.
我真的很想相信你艾力克斯 真的
Oh, I'd love to believe you, Alex, I really would.
我瞭解我女兒是什麼樣子
I just happen to know my own daughter.
你會成爲一個傑出的醫生
A fine doctor you're gonna make
如果你繼續朝這方面前進的話
if this is how you carry on.
爲什麼大家都在大叫
Why is everybody shouting?
昨晚我真的非常抱歉
I'm so embarrassed about last night.
不不不 你不要這樣說
No, no, you don't have to be.
我昨天的行爲簡直糟透了
Ugh, I behaved so badly!
是沒錯 不過糟也可以是好事啊
Yeah, but bad can be good, too.
好事 它超級糟的好嗎
Good? It was awful.
我光是想到這件事 就想要要吐了
Oh, I feel sick even thinking about it.
哪個部份
About which part?
全部 它從來沒發生過
All of it. It never happened.
艾力克斯 不要講出去好嗎 你千萬別跟任何人講
Alex, okay? You can't tell anyone!
好啦
Right.
撤 撤 撤
Go, go, go!
我們怎麼從醫院回家的啊
How did we get home from the hospital?
我媽帶我們回來的
Uh, Mom picked us up.
他們需要父母的名字
They needed a parent's name,
所以 很明顯的我不應該交出你父母的名字
so, I obviously didn't want to give yours.
然後她覺得這都是我的錯
And she thinks it's my fault anyway,
我會帶來壞的影響力啊
I'm a terrible influence. Blah, blah, blah.
你是啊
Oh, well, you are.
所以 現在我必須每天花兩小時
So, now, I have to spend two hours
待在圖書館裏面兩星期
in the library every day for a fortnight.
-惡夢啊 -其實它還有可能更糟呢
-Nightmare. -Well, it could be worse.
貝瑟尼·威廉姆斯剛剛 在那裏獲得一分兼♥職♥工作
Bethany Williams has just got a part time job there.
是
Yeah, right.
什麼
What?
貝瑟尼·威廉姆斯
Bethany Williams?
忘了吧 雖然連我都想跟她上♥牀♥
Forget it, even I want to sleep with her.
依你的觀點來看 她曾經用眼神給我暗示
For your information, she has been giving me the eye.
你爲啥不把你前額的痘痘擠掉呢
why you haven't squeezed that zit on your forehead.
-去你的 -不不不 過來給姊姊看 我可以幫你擠
-Fuck off! -No. Come here. I can do it for you.
別碰我 你這傢伙
Don't touch me! Don't you dare!
現在看着格雷格的那傢伙
Just look at Greg right now.
根本花♥花♥公♥子♥一個
What a bimbo.
他邀請我去學校的舞會
He invited me to the school dance.
什麼 那你怎麼回答
Uh, what did you say?
別驚訝 很明顯的 我會跟你一起去的啦
No, obviously. I'm going with you.
艾力克斯
Hey, Alex.
我今天在圖書館裏怎麼沒看到你呢
I missed you in the library today.
我沒有任何
Yeah, uh, I had nothing...
我是說 我是有一點有一點忙
Uh, I mean, yeah. I was a bit... A bit of busy...
不要忘了我
Don't be a stranger. Yeah.
絕對不會的
Yeah, absolutely not.
我們圖書館見
I'll see you there.
-女孩們 -他跟你講什麼啊
-Hey, girls! -What did he say to you?
別這麼可悲啊
Pathetic.
她只是想打個招呼罷了
She's mine for the taking.
你很幸運她沒有讓你喫螺絲
You're lucky she didn't trip over your tongue
並且拖着你的舌頭穿越過這裏
dragging halfway across the ground.
好啦 我知道啦
Whoa. Okay. All right.
好吧 既然你這麼在行 給我點意見
Well, give me some tips then, if you are so clever.
我要如何誘惑一個女人
How do I go about seducing a woman
誰很明顯的不是我能追到的
who is apparently out of my league?
-你是認真的 -沒錯 當然
-Is that a serious question? -Yeah, absolutely.
好吧 你是"那個"條件比較不利的
Mmm, well, you're at a disadvantage
"那個"你知道的 處♥男♥
being a, you know, virgin.
不 不 不 別擔心
No, no, no, all right?
我們可以改變它
We can work with that.
首先 你要變酷 忽視她
First you have to be cool. Ignore her.
表現的像是你隨時可以把她 也可以甩她
Act like you could take it or leave it.
你看 這我可要好好練一下
You see, that I've had practice at. Hmm.
第二 你要讓她覺得
Uh, second, you have to make her feel like
你從她身上看到某些獨一無二的特質
you've seen something in her no one else has.
像是她的靈魂
Like her soul.
在忽視她的同時
While also ignoring her?
當然
Yes.
好吧 那有什麼跟打炮有關的呢
Okay, and what happened to the sex?
這就是跟打炮有關的啊
This is about the sex!
靠 你講的這個真♥他♥媽♥的操蛋
God! You're so fucked up.
你絕對想像不到
Mmm. You have no idea.
她要我帶她去舞會
She wants me to take her to the dance.
真的
Really?
想像啦
Yeah, imagine.
帶她去 假如她對你來說這麼重要的話
Take her, if it means that much to you.
拜託 這樣你會沒舞伴的
Come on. You'd have no one to go with.
我纔剛被本年級最適合的舞伴問過好嗎 艾力克斯
I got asked by the fittest guy in our year, Alex.
我覺得我沒問題
I think I'm fine.
什麼 所以這對你沒造成任何困擾咯
What, so actually this is quite convenient for you.
好吧 既然這樣 那我去問她能不能和我一起參加
All right. Well, yeah, I'll go ask her then.
去吧
Go for it.
好吧 我會去問的
Okay. Fine, I will.
貝瑟尼 貝瑟尼 嗨
Bethany? Bethany, hi.
好啊
Yeah!
-你的臉真的很煩耶 一直冒頭 -得了
-Your face is annoying me. -Come on.
-我有新消息 -我也是
-I've got news. -Me, too.
我要專心上課 這樣考試纔會過
I need to concentrate so I can pass my exams
然後過着爽爽生活
and get a life.
我脫離處♥男♥了
哈羅 還在嗎
哪個女的這麼倒黴
千萬不要是貝瑟尼
Not Bethany!
貝瑟尼
幹♥你♥娘♥
Fuck!
那個羅茜·鄧恩
Right, Rosie Dunne,
自己到校長辦公室報到
get yourself down to the headmaster's office.
不 不 不 這都是我的錯 辛普森先生
No, no, no, it was my fault, Mr. Simpson.
我有一些必須告訴她的話
I had something I needed to tell her.
好吧我瞭解了 艾力克斯 恭喜你
So I see, Alex. Congratulations.