寂寞星圖
我是阿嘉薩·威斯 我叫了輛豪華轎車
I'm Agatha Weiss. I asked for a limousine.
加長型的
A stretch?
嗯
Um.
沒有加長型的了
Yeah, there weren't any available.
你能找到這地方嗎
Can you find this place?
能
Yeah.
唉...
Ah...
先說清楚 收現金 開車前先預付
Look, cash call. I'm gonna have to collect up front.
一小時45元 最少需兩小時起跳
It's 45 an hour. 2 hour minimum.
這是200 行嗎
Here's 200, okay?
我能要一張標註了明星家的導覽圖嗎
Can we get a star home map?
沒必要
Kind of a waste.
除非你想看瑞安·西克雷斯特以前住哪
Unless you want to see where Ryan Seacrest used to live?
你從哪來
Where did you come in from?
傑派特鎮
Jupiter.
弗羅裏達州
Florida.
你來洛杉磯幹什麼
What's happening in LA?
來看家人
Visiting family.
你載過很多名人嗎
Do you drive a lot of celebrities?
我載過艾爾·高爾一次
I had Al Gore once.
對我來說應該是最有名的一個
That was probably the heaviest... for me.
還有塔圖姆·奧尼爾 她那時還在做真人秀
I drove Tatum O'Neil when she had a reality show.
還有...
Umm...
查克·洛爾
Chuck Lorre...
好漢兩個半的創作人
...who created 2 1/2 Men.
還有一堆制♥作♥人 導演
Get a lot of producers... directors.
還有...朱麗葉特·劉易斯
Eh... Juliette Lewis.
她是山達基教♥徒♥
She's a scientologist.
我也想改信山達基♥督♥徒
I was thinking about converting.
可能會對我職業有幫助
Just as a carrier move.
你是演員嗎
You're an actor?
演員 編劇
Actor, writer.
我認識凱莉·費雪
I know Carrie Fisher.
哦 是嗎
Oh, really?
怎麼認識的
How's that?
我在社羣網路上認識她的
I met her on Twitter.
我們成了好朋友
Yeah, we became like really good friends.
我在幫她完成她的新小說
I'm helping her with a new novel she's writing.
也可能是她爲HBO寫的劇本
But it might be something she winds up doing as an HBO show.
這是什麼地方
What's this place?
我以爲這是星圖上的一處
I thought it might be on a star map.
這原來有個很大的房♥子
There used to be a really big house here.
班傑 威斯小時候的房♥子
Childhood home of Benjie Weiss.
你怎麼知道
So, how do you know that?
我以前是他保姆
I used to babysit for him.
我就是那個壞保姆的原型
I was the original bad babysitter.
說起來奇怪
It's weird.
我經紀人想幫我爭取到《壞保姆2》的試鏡
My agent is trying to get me an audition for babysitter 2.
雖然機會不大 但...
I mean it's a long shot, but uh...
雅各布·賴肯
Jacob Lightner...
讓我去試鏡 他是個私人經紀人
...got it to me... he's a personal manager.
很有影響力的人
He's a real heavy-weight.
我們一起去比佛利
We went to Beverly together.
希望我能走運
I hold my fingers crossed.
海 小傢伙
Hi, there.
我以爲你不會來了
I'd didn't think you'd come.
爲什麼
Why is that?
你很忙啊
You're so busy.
你是例外
Not for you.
嗯
Hm.
我...
I, um...
我 我喜歡《壞保姆》 你在裏面好有趣
I... I liked 'Bad Babysitter'. You were so funny.
是啊
Yeah... uh...
我們全球票房♥收穫了7 8億
We did 780 million world wide.
很多人都沒意識到
People don't realize that.
你沒有平版電腦嗎
Don't you have an iPad?
沒有
No...
我們能送她一臺平版電腦嗎
Um... can we get her an iPad?
迷你的
Mini?
存點片子
Load it up?
看爆米花3D電影
Watch shit in 3D?
我們劇組訂做了很酷的夾克
We got great sack in crew jackets.
在背後用金色寫着"我是壞保姆"
'I was a Bad Babysitter' written in gold on the back.
特別有個人風格
Get your swag on.
那...
So...
肯米 你是怎麼染上愛♥滋♥的
How did you get AIDS, Cammy?
唉
Umm...
我沒有得愛♥滋♥ 我得的是
I don't have AIDS, its...
非何傑金氏淋巴瘤
Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
你知道我打算怎麼做嗎
You know what I'm going to do?
我要把你的生活拍成電影
I'm gonna make a movie of your life.
真的
Right?
雷恩·葛斯林來演我
Ryan Gosling will play me.
我來演你
And I'll play you.
你會是我奧斯卡上的女伴
You're my date at the Oscars.
非何傑金氏淋巴瘤
Non-Hodgekin's?
對不起
Sorry about that.
非何傑金氏淋巴瘤是什麼鬼玩意
What the fuck is Non-Hodgekin's?
應該是血液方面的疾病
I think it's a blood thing.
它都說"非"了 到底是還是不是
I mean, 'Non'. It either is or isn't.
你在裏面說的話是認真的嗎
Were you serious in there?
因爲
Because...
我們完全可以找雷恩來演
...we can definitely get this to Ryan.
-他就喜歡這種故事 -我們能找來雷恩
-It's just the kind of stuff he likes to do. -We could get it to Ryan?
對
Yeah.
你連盥洗室都擦不乾淨
You can barely get toilet paper to your ass.
足夠拍成那種勵志片了 是吧
Make for an uplifting drama, wouldn't it?
我都想好標題了
I mean, I even got a title.
班傑 如果你不是認真的 最好別亂承諾
If you're not serious Benjie, it's better not to promise.
哈
Hah!
阿諾·庫伯勒·羅斯放話了耶
Arnold Kugler Ross has spoken!
偉大的拉比 滅亡與垂死
Great Rabi, death and dieing.
智慧之王
Man of wisdom.
了不起的神箭手
Zen-fucking-archer!
我給你取了個新外號♥
I got a new nickname for you.
寬容博物館
Uzeem Atolerance.
班傑 夠了
Drop it Benjie.
夠了
Drop it?
我有個更好的主意
I have a better idea.
怎麼不把你的陰♥部♥拿出來秀秀
Why don't you show me your cunt?!
啊
Huh?!
我知道你有
I know you have one.
猶太娘娘腔
Jew faggot!
他們給多少
What are they offering?
五百萬
5 million.
加附加收入百分之十的分成
10 points from Cashbury.
吉妮要多少
What's Genie asking?
百分之八
8.
還有對價的20%分成
20 from dollar one.
你怎麼想
What do you think?
我覺得我們喫定製片方了
I think we have their balls...
不錯
Cool.
那...什麼時候試鏡
So um... when's the audition?
班傑 我跟你說過的這不是試鏡
It's not an audition Benjie. I told you that.
哦 對不起
Right. Sorry.
尿液測試是什麼時候
When's the urine test?
會議在星期五早上10點
The meeting is on Friday at 10.
製片方只想確保你身心健康
The studio just want to see that you're bright eyed and bushy tailed.
但決定權還是在我吧
But the deals contingent belong to me?
他們只是想維護這系列電影的聲譽