很久以前 這個世界遍佈奇蹟
Long ago, the world was full of wonder.
它充滿奇遇
It was adventurous...
驚險刺♥激♥
exciting...
最厲害的是
and best of all...
有魔法存在
there was magic.
煙火轟鳴
Boombastia!
魔法幫助了所有需要幫助的人
And that magic helped all in need.
熊熊燃燒
Flame Infernar!
閃電霹靂
Voltar Thundasir!
但掌握它並不容易
But it wasn't easy to master.
所以世人找了種更簡單的方法維繼生活
And so the world found a simpler way to get by.
我給它命名爲燈泡
I call it the light bulb.
太簡便了
'Tis so easy.
久而久之
Over time...
魔法淡出了人們的視野
magic faded away.
但我希望
But I hope...
在你們身上還能找到一些
there's a little magic left...
魔法
in you.
好了
All right.
我們將擁有Z90戰士的完美身材
We're gonna get Warrior Z90 fit.
讓我聽見你說 "我是一個勇猛的戰士"
Let me hear you say, "I'm a mighty warrior."
我是一個勇猛的戰士
I'm a mighty warrior.
早啊 媽
Morning, Mom.
布拉澤 下來
Blazey, down!
不聽話的龍 回你的窩去
Bad dragon! Back to your lair.
生日快樂 成年小夥
Happy birthday, Mr. Adult Man.
別這樣 媽
No, Mom.
你這小子 別擦我的親親
Hey, buddy. Don't wipe off my kisses.
怎麼了
What?
你穿了你♥爸♥爸的衛衣
You're wearing your dad's sweatshirt.
終於合身了
You know. Finally fits.
我的小娃娃長大成人了
Aw, my little chubby cheeks is all grown up!
好了 好了 媽 我上學前得喫點東西
Okay, okay. Mom, I gotta eat something before school.
家裏喫的不多了
We don't have much food.
我還得去一趟雜貨店
I still have to go to the grocery store.
手拿開 這位先生
Ah, hands off, mister.
這是給你今晚的派對準備的
Those are for your party tonight.
那不是派對 媽 只有家裏人
It's not a party, Mom. It's just us.
你可以邀請科學課的同學
You could invite those kids from your science class.
你說過他們都很酷
You said they seem pretty rockin'.
我肯定不是這麼形容的
I'm, uh, pretty sure I didn't say it like that.
再說了 我跟他們根本不熟
And besides, I don't even know them.
生日就該嘗試新鮮事物
Well, your birthday's a day to try new things.
做個全新的自己
Be the new you.
說到新鮮事
Speaking of trying new things,
你報名參加駕駛培訓了沒
did you sign up for driving practice?
沒 沒
No! No.
我知道你有點害怕開車 寶貝 可是...
I know you're a little scared to drive, sweetie pie, but...
我不害怕 媽 我要把巴利的桌遊挪走了
I'm not scared, Mom. I'm gonna move Barley's game.
好吧 可是你知道
Okay, but you know how he gets
有人碰他的桌遊時他會怎樣的
when someone touches that board.
他總得學着收拾他的玩具吧
Well, he's gotta learn how to clean up his toys.
住手
Halt!
吾弟膽敢壞我義舉
Doth my brother dare disrupt an active campaign?
差不多行了
Oh, come on!
伊恩
You know, Ian,
在過去 十六歲的男孩
in the days of old, a boy of 16
要在絕望之沼接受力量的考驗
would have his strength tested in the Swamps of Despair.
我什麼考驗都不想接受 放開我
I'm not testing anything. Just let me go.
放開他
Let him go.
好吧
Okay.
但我知道你剛纔沒使出全力
But I know you're stronger than that.
你體內深藏着一個勇猛的戰士
There's a mighty warrior inside of you.
只需要把他釋放出來就好
You just have to let him out.
對吧 媽
Right, Mom?
不錯嘛
Oh, that's good.
巴利 你好臭 你多久沒洗澡了
Barley! You stink! When was the last time you showered?
你要是再使點勁
If you tried a little harder,
沒準還真能把我掙開
you actually could probably wiggle out of this.
看到沒 媽媽就知道如何釋放出體內的戰士
See? Mom knows how to let out her inner warrior.
多謝誇獎
Thank you.
快把垃圾拿出去
Now, take out the trash.
...繼續留意一隻逃跑的獅鷲
...stay on the lookout for a runaway griffin.
布朗科警官
Officer Bronco.
巴利 巴利 巴利
Barley, Barley, Barley.
每次只要市裏要拆除
Every time the city tries to tear down
一塊舊瓦礫
an old piece of rubble,
我就得馬不停蹄地來這找你麻煩
I gotta drag my rear end out here and deal with you.
我不知道你在說什麼
I don't know what you're talking about.
真的嗎
Really?
我是不會讓你們拆毀這個水池的
I will not let you tear down this fountain.
踏上大遠征的古代戰士
Ancient warriors on grand quests
都飲用過這裏的活水
drank from its flowing water.
巴利
Barley.
他們在毀滅這座城市的過去
They're destroying the town's past.
進來吧
Well, come on in.
休息下腰腿
Rest your haunches for a minute.
謝謝你 親愛的
Thank you, hon.
你好啊 小壽星
Hey there, birthday boy.
你在幹活還是在偷懶
So, ya workin' hard or hardly workin'?
我只是在烤吐司
I'm just, you know, making toast.
說真的 巴利
I'm serious, Barley,
你應該少想着過去
you need to start thinking less about the past
多放眼未來
and more about your future.
她說得對
She's right.
你不能成天只玩桌遊
You can't spend all day playing your board game.
《昔日遠征》纔不只是個桌遊
Quests of Yore isn't just a board game.
它是一個基於歷史的角色扮演劇本
It's a historically-based role-playing scenario.
你知道 在古代
Did you know, in the old days,
半人馬可一小時可以跑一百一十二千米嗎
centaurs could run 70 miles an hour?
我有車 不用跑
I own a vehicle. Don't need to run.
伊恩 你一定可以從《昔日遠征》學到很多
Well, Ian, you could definitely learn a lot from Quests of Yore.
-想玩嗎 -不想
- You wanna play? - I don't.
你可以當狡猾的盜賊 或者...
You could be a crafty rogue or...
我知道了 你可以當巫師
I know! You can be a wizard.
我要對汝施放咒語
I shall cast a spell on thee!
小心爸的衛衣
Careful of Dad's sweatshirt!
我都不記得爸穿過這件衛衣
I don't even remember Dad wearing that sweatshirt.
你大概只記得他兩件事
Well, you do only have, like, two memories of him.
不 我記得三件
No, I've got three.
我記得他的鬍子很扎人
I remember his beard was scratchy,
他的笑聲傻傻的 還有我以前常
he had a goofy laugh, and I used to play
-把他的腳當鼓敲 -把他的腳當鼓敲 沒錯
- drums on his feet. - Drums on his feet. Right.
我以前經常...
I used to go...
五秒內還能喫
Five-second rule.
沒事 扯掉就行
It's okay. You just got to pull it.
不要
No!
巴利
Barley!
我上學路上買♥♥點喫的就行
I'm just gonna get some food on the way to school.
我晚上幫你縫好 好嗎
I'll sew that later tonight, okay?
等等
Wait, wait, wait.
遵照古代的法律 我今天要授汝男人稱號♥
By the laws of yore, I must dub thee a man today.
向我跪拜
Kneel before me.
不了吧 我得走了
That's okay. I gotta get going.
好吧 我晚點去接你
All right, well, I'll pick you up later.
我們在學校進行授予儀式
We'll perform the ceremony at school.
別別別
No, no, no, no.
千萬別 千萬別 好了 再見
Don't do that. Don't do that. Okay, bye!
加油獅鷲
Go Griffins!
什麼
What?