很久以前 我18歲時
When I was 18, a long time ago now,
我覺得在腦海中營造各種世界 就會獲得自♥由♥
I had the idea that you found freedom by building worlds inside your head.
只有後退 才能前行
That you had to go backwards in order to go forwards.
小孩對一切事物都有答案
That little kids had the answers to everything.
18歲時 我想法很多
When I was 18, I had so many ideas,
幾乎無法入眠
I hardly slept at all.
1992年夏天
In the summer of 1992,
朋友們和我在新加坡的街上 拍攝了一部公路電影
my friends and I shot a road movie on the streets of Singapore...
這部電影原本會成爲都市傳奇
that was to become?a kind of urban legend.
片名叫《逃避者》
That movie was called Shirkers,
這個詞的字面 意思是“逃跑”
a word which means "running away,
逃避責任
avoiding responsibility,
逃離
escape."
我是編劇兼女主角
I wrote the script and played the heroine,
扮演一個16歲的殺手 叫S
a 16-year-old killer named S.
在新加坡 從來沒人拍這種電影
Nobody was making movies like that in Singapore.
所以 我們堪稱先行者
So, we were pioneers.
這部電影彷彿是新加坡的時間艙
The film was a time capsule?of a Singapore
既現實又虛幻
that was both real and imaginary.
當時 我夢寐以求要拍電影
Back then, the thing I wanted more than anything was to make a movie.
但我從未想到會是這種結局
But I never imagined it would end this way.
25年後 我踏上一段奇異的後搠之旅
Twenty-five years later, I find myself on a strange backward journey,
重演過去 尋找線索
replaying the past for clues.
好吧 我聽了你在房♥間裏錄製的帶子
Okay, I listened to your tape that you did in your room.
我超愛的 能成爲你的摯友 我感覺很好
I loved it. I like being your best friend.
你是我的摯友
You're my best friend.
知道你在身邊 我感覺很好
I like knowing that you're around.
知道我們心有靈犀
I like knowing that we're connected,
患難與共 我感覺很好
that we're partners in crime.
再給我制♥作♥一盤帶子 拜託了
Make me another tape, please.
我想你
I miss you.
我懂得了不再思考那段時間……
I learned to stop thinking about that time...
假裝什麼也沒發生過……
to pretend it never happened...
當然 這不可能
which was, of course, impossible.
《逃避者》變成了一段祕密歷史
Shirkers became a secret history,
只有我們一小撮人知道
shared by a small group of us.
讓我們魂牽夢縈
And it would haunt us
緊密相連
and bond us
又苦苦折磨我們
and tear us apart.
-準備好就開始 -已經好了
- Whenever you're ready. - Now.
黃錦佳 童年好友
成爲朋友之前 我和錦佳水火不容
Jasmine and I were enemies before we were friends.
你當我是敵人 但我不知道我是否也這樣想
You thought I was an enemy, but I don't know if I thought you were an enemy.
對
Uh, yeah.
14歲以前 我們一直敵視彼此
We stayed enemies until we were 14.
我們是20世紀80年代長大的...
When we were growing up?in the 1980s...
傳播禮貌 請先微笑
政♥府♥和家人總是跟你過不去
the state and the family were constantly in your face.
一個民族 一個國家 一個新加坡
沉默是金 微笑
當時 新加坡管制嚴格 政♥府♥甚至禁止嚼口香糖
Singapore was so uptight, its government even banned chewing gum.
如果美國人相信 自己很優越
If Americans believe?they are exceptional,
我告訴你
let me tell you,
新加坡人則知道我們很優越
Singaporeans know we are exceptional.
1965年 新加坡只是個炎熱小島
A sweaty little island in 1965,
到2000年 新加坡已成爲全球最富有的國家之一
Singapore became one of the richest countries in the world by the year 2000.
我和錦佳14歲那年
When Jasmine and I were 14,
我們發現了小衆電影和非主流音樂
we discovered unusual movies and unpopular music.
我們都是異類 成爲閨蜜
And as weirdos, we became best friends.
我倆的成長背景大相徑庭
We came from very different backgrounds...
錦佳的爸爸 媽媽
但我們倆卻是死黨
but we were thick as thieves.
我發誓我們是科恩姐妹
我家境不好
My family was intense.
在我出生前 我父母的婚姻就破裂了
My parents' marriage was collapsing even before I was born,
所以我是祖父母帶大的
and so I was raised by my grandparents.
下雨候 我們房♥子前面的草坪看起來像巧克力牛奶
When it rained, our front lawn looked like chocolate milk.
1981年 我祖父堅持要拍照
In 1981, my grandfather insisted on having these pictures taken...
因爲他心愛的房♥子就要被拆掉了
because his beloved house was about to be torn down.
1985年 這棟房♥子的舊址上新建了公♥寓♥
In 1985, the house was replaced by this condo.
雖然仍會有積水 但再也不像巧克力牛奶了
It still flooded, but it was no longer chocolate milk.
家人期盼我出類拔萃
I was always expected to shine.
這令人精疲力竭
Which was exhausting.
我需要發泄
I needed a way out.
所以 我當然會喜歡錦佳的家人
So, of course, I liked Jasmine's family.
他們熱情 隨和
They were warm and undemanding
我們在錦佳的房♥間搭建稀奇古怪的神礱 他們也無所謂
and didn't care?if we built crazy shrines in Jasmine's room.
我們有戲劇之王……
We had the God of Theater...
劇本創作女神
and the Goddess of Scriptwriting.
我們打扮成護士去上學
We showed up at school dressed up as nurses.
我還挑戰電影協會權威
And I challenged the authorities at the Film Society.
親愛的善治：我們會盡力獲取你所要求的電影
We will certainly try to acquire the films you've requested.
我迫切想拍電影
I desperately wanted to make movies.
我假想自己是電影制♥作♥人 進行虛擬採訪
I gave imaginary interviews as imaginary filmmakers.
嗨 我想爲你介紹一下我的電影
Hi, I would like to share with you my movie
《魔力火腦》絕對原創
Magic Fire Brain, which, uh, is completely original.
有很多羣衆場景
There were lots of crowd scenes.
我認真閱讀《美國電影》和《影評》雜♥志♥
I read American Film and Film Comment religiously.
但不想點辦法 我根本看不到這些電影
But it was impossible to see these movies unless I got very creative.
我跟在佛羅里達的堂姐微琪一起
I established a clandestine videotaping syndicate
成立了一個祕密錄像帶聯合會
with my cousin Vicki in Florida...
就是爲了我能觀看《藍絲絨》
just so I could watch Blue Velvet.
《藍絲絨》1986年
周圍的人根本不在意的東西 錦佳和我卻看得津津有味
Jasmine and I devoured what people around us ignored.
14歲時 我們開始給《大O》寫稿
We started writing for BigO,
這是新加坡一家地下搖滾小衆雜♥志♥
Singapore's underground rock zine, when we were 14.
《大O》是謝福龍創辦的 他總是一本正經
BigO was run by Philip Cheah, in all his poker-faced glory,
他給我們制♥作♥帕蒂史密斯和地下絲絨的帶子
and he would make us tapes of Patti Smith and The Velvet Underground
他針對這些帶子對我們進行測試 然後才準我們加入他們的社團
and quiz us on them before he would let us join their club.
新加坡 對音樂和電影有着嚴格的審查制度
In Singapore, you had very strict censorship across music and film.
謝福龍 《大O》雜♥志♥ 編輯
許多偉大的經典專輯仍然被禁
A lot of the great classic albums were still banned.
我們看到在英國和美國發生的革命
We saw the revolution that took place in the UK and in the US,
我們想知道這是否會在這裏發生
and we wondered whether that could actually happen here.
我們爲《大O》創作了詳盡的拼圖
We created elaborate collages for BigO,
他們都非常討厭
which they all hated.
對他們來講 我們可能太年輕無知了
I think we were way too punk for them.
他們只是個糟糕的男生社團而已
They were a lame boy's club anyway.
所以總是我們
So it was always us...
跟這個世界抗衡
against the world.
我們最大的成就之一 就是用國家圖書館的複印機 出版自己的
Our greatest achievement was publishing our own zine, The Exploding Cat...
小衆雜♥志♥《爆♥炸♥貓》
on the photocopier at the National Library.
我們試圖藉助《爆♥炸♥貓》來記載讓我們感到憤怒
Exploding Cat was our attempt to catalog everything that angered us,
和開心的一切東西
that made us laugh.
卡在馬桶裏的女人
我感覺...好奇怪 我的腦袋要...開始...暈了
這隻貓變得出名了
The Cat became its own thing.
我們收到各地來信 紐約 倫敦
We received letters from New York, London...
巴黎 耶路撒冷
Paris, Jerusalem,
甚至還有來自三個不同國家的監獄來信
even prisons in three different states.
最重要的是……
Above all...
它也是我們的寫照
it was a catalog of us.
我
Me,
我的朋友們
my friends,
我們這個位於世界中心的小島
our tiny island in the center of the world,
在1989年 繪製我們自己的
charting our own destiny...
命運
in 1989.
下一個故事是 第39章
The next story is chapter 39.
等等 還有一件事
Hang on, just one more thing.
那時候 我沉迷於《麥田裏的守望者》
Back in those days, I was obsessed with The Catcher in the Rye...
《麥田裏的守望者》是美國作家傑羅姆·大衛·塞林格創作的唯一一部長篇小說
和塞林格關於拯救兒童的想法
and Salinger's idea of saving children.
所以我教導 我的小堂弟堂妹們永遠別長大
So I trained my baby cousins to never grow up.
...人們講話
...people talk.
-嘿 -幹嘛
- Wen... - Yes.
說句話