片名：爲了桑尼加油
這是關於我最好的朋友的故事
This is the story of my best friend.
就是他
That's him.
不是現在
Not now.
這纔是現在的他
That's him now.
他有些毛病
He has issues.
滾
Fuck off!
不擅長處理親密關係
Intimacy issues.
沒人在家
Nobody's home!
不擅長管理自己的憤怒
And anger issues.
等等
And other stuff.
如果你有殘疾
When you have a disability,
你每時每刻都在被人圍觀
you're on display at all hours.
特拉維斯是個獨行俠
Travis is a solo act.
他一個人住
He lives alone
一個人工作
and he works alone.
沒有人想要孤獨一輩子
And nobody dreams of being alone forever.
你是彎的 你這隻牛角狗
You're bent, you horn dog!
好一部殘疾專座
Nice spasmobile!
嘿 現在我們知道他爲什麼那樣走路了
Hey, now we know why he walks like that.
是的
Yeah.
他的小♥弟♥弟♥也有問題
He's got a permanent boner.
我覺得他可能拉褲子了
I think he shat himself!
媽的
Oh shit!
該死
Shit!
哦 媽的 快跑
Oh shit, run!
跑啊
Run!
現在誰在拉褲子啊
Who's shitting themself now?
不
No!
他要來了
Oh, he's coming!
你這個瘋子
You crazy fuck!
他媽的
Oh, shit.
去你的 失敗者
Up yours, loser!
噢 親愛的
Oh, dear.
特拉維斯
Travis.
小雜種
Little shit!
聽着
Listen,
你要明白的是
what you have to understand
這所大學裏的孩子都是痞子
is that the kids in this college are assholes.
但這並不意味着你可以
But that doesn't mean you can just go
上去就找他們麻煩
and run the little shitbags over.
我被開除了嗎
Am I fired?
特拉維斯 你管理不好情緒
Travis, you have problem with your anger.
你需要找個人談談
Now you need to go and talk to somebody.
你得答應我
You have to promise me.
我沒問題
I don't have a problem.
這個世道這麼亂來不是我的責任
It's not my fault the world's fucked.
答應我
Promise me.
不準動 混♥蛋♥
Freeze, asshole!
那是我
That's me...
初遇特拉維斯
meeting Travis.
啊
Ah!
混♥蛋♥
Motherfucker!
把手放在頭上
Put your hands on your head!
坐在沙發上別動
Get on the couch and don't move!
什麼沙發
What couch?
那個沙發
That couch!
我沒看到沙發 什麼也看不見
I can't see any couch, I can't see anything.
我瞎了
I'm blind!
他媽的
Oh, shit.
好吧
Okay.
這裏
Here, just...
坐這兒
Sit there.
我叫救護車
I'm calling an ambulance.
要我給你拿點什麼嗎
Can I get you anything?
噢
Oh.
來杯啤酒就好了
A beer would be nice.
我在給你叫救護車
I'm calling you an ambulance.
爲了什麼
What for?
你說你看不見
You said you can't see.
我本來就是個瞎子
I was blind already.
那你算個屁的竊賊
What kind of burglar are you?
我不是竊賊 我以爲你纔是竊賊
I'm not a burglar, I thought you were a burglar.
我不是竊賊 我住在這裏
I'm not a burglar,I live here.
哦 好吧 那就放心了
Oh, well, that's a relief then.
沒有竊賊
No one's a burglar.
我明白了 你瞎了
I get it now, you're a little blind and...
走進了錯誤的公♥寓♥
you just stumbled into the wrong apartment.
不要緊
No harm done.
你說得倒容易
Easy for you to say.
你又沒有被煎鍋打過頭
You didn't get hit over the head with a frying pan.
其實是棒球棒
It was a freaking baseball bat.
噢 怪不得我的頭好痛
Oh, no wonder my freaking head hurts.
我需要一些藥
I need some medication.
你能 在我的包裏找找嗎
Could you, in my bag there?
是這個嗎
Is this it?
是的 看起來沒錯了
Yeah, that looks like it.
要給你拿杯水嗎
Can I get you a glass of water?
啤酒更好
Beer would be better.
呃
Uh...
我還以爲你要的是阿司匹林
I was thinking like asprin.
阿司匹林不能吸啊
No, you can't smoke asprin.
你瘋了嗎
Are you freaking crazy?
呃
Well,
是不能的吧
I don't think you can, can you?
你能不能告訴我這是什麼個情況
You mind just telling me what's going on?
你應該收到了這個玩意兒吧
You should've received one of these, didn't you?
是盲文
It's Braille.
上面說什麼
What's it say?
這是一套政♥府♥補貼的公♥寓♥
This is a subsidised apartment.
所以呢
So?
有兩間臥室
It has two bedrooms.
所以呢？
So?
你只能睡一間
Well, you can only sleep in one.
不 不是
No, no.
沒門
Nuh-uh, not happening.
有文件的
It's official.
要麼我搬進來 要麼你付額外房♥間的租金
Either I move in or you pay rent on the extra room.
-大約130350 -噢 天啊
-Like 130, 350. - Oh, God.
我支付不起
I can't afford that.
好吧 那就這麼定了
Well it's settled then.
兄弟 我們會玩得很開心的
Oh man, we're gonna have a great time.
不會
No, we're not!
我們會的 相信我
Yeah, sure we will, trust me.
我是一個完美的室友
I make the perfect roommate
因爲我的視力只有10%
because I got like 10 percent vision,
所以你裸體在房♥裏走來走去都可以
so you can like walk around with your hairy boys hanging out
我永遠都不會知道
and I'll never know.
我不會 因爲你不能留下來
No, I won't because you are not staying.
出去
Out!
你現在指的是門嗎
Are you pointing at a door right now?
不是
No.
我是個瞎子
I'm blind.
並且無家可歸
And homeless
還可能有腦震盪
with a possible concussion.
你的殘疾是什麼
What's your disability?
你是個沒心沒肺的混♥蛋♥嗎
Are you a heartless dick?
噢 噢 好吧
Oh, oh, okay!
行吧 你可以留下來
Okay, you can stay!
我們先把事情講清楚 好嗎
Just till we get this sorted, okay?
我們需要設定一些分界線