-嘿 -派對要開始了
- Hey! - The party's about to start.
接下來的晚上 咱們這裏不談工作
This is a no-work zone for the rest of the night.
不是工作 這是一份禮物
Well, it's not work. It's a gift.
好吧 五分鐘 不然我就把你拉黑
All right, five minutes, or you're on the naughty list.
寶貝 嗯
Whoo-hoo, babe, um,
想在蛋奶酒里加什麼？
what do you spike the eggnog with?
朗姆酒還是波旁威士忌？
Rum or Bourbon?
-都可以 -嗯
- Either. - Hmm...
第一個客人到了
First guests!
我不是客人？
I'm not a guest?
姑娘 你不是 你是家人
Girl, no. You're family.
我兩個都加點
I'm gonna use both.
切 只是我哥哥而已
Never mind, it's just my brother.
可真夠熱情呢 老妹
Wow. Let's dial down the enthusiasm, sis.
你也不要太過火了 馬丁
[Naomi] And careful spiking that punch, Martin.
這是聖誕晚會 不是聯誼會
This is a Christmas party, not a frat party.
不 不 傑克 別站起來 我來好了
No, no, Jack, please, don't get up. I've got it.
也祝你聖誕快樂 朱莉
And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jolie.
行了 也該吵夠了 你們這些傢伙
Enough squabbling, you guys.
傑克表現算不錯了 至少他來了
Jack gets a pass from helping, because he showed up.
這不公平
That's not fair!
我們達成了約定 如果我來參加聚會
We made a deal. If I came to the party,
我不需要幫忙裝扮
I didn't have to help decorate.
約定歸約定
A deal's a deal.
真的嗎？那是他所堅持的原則嗎？
Seriously? That is the standard he's held to?
-參加就可以？ -是的
- Showing up? - [Jack] Yep.
我不希望我的婚禮重演
I do not want a repeat of my wedding, where you two were
你們倆整晚都爲了誰來祝酒詞吵得不可開交
just fighting all night about who's giving the last toast.
我是一個作家
Yeah, I'm a writer
還是她的哥哥 所以應該是我來
and her brother, so it should've been me.
我是伴娘
I was the maid of honor
好吧 聽着
All right, look, just
客人來的時候要高興點 好嗎？
be pleasant when the guests arrive, all right?
好的
[Jack] OK.
什麼？他？他總是愛發牢騷 你呢？
What? Him? He's always a grump, but you?
你爲什麼這麼挑剔？
Why are you so fussy?
別這樣 今天是聖誕節 你不想回家嗎？
Come on, it's Christmas. Aren't you excited to go home?
-那個 -什麼？
- About that. - What?
-你不回家？ -不 我要回家
- You're not going home? - No, I'm going home,
但福斯特和他的新女友也要回家
but so is Foster and his new girlfriend.
-這麼早？ -嗯
- [gasps] Already? - Mm-hmm.
我今天才知道
I know, I just found out today.
-才六個月 -我知道
- It's only been six months! - I know!
我真的慌 想到我必須要見他
I was freaked out knowing that I was gonna have to see him,
結果現在 我還要和他和她一起出去
and now, I'm gonna have to hang out with him and her
而且最近這整段時間都要
the whole time.
你一定要見他嗎？
[sighs] Do you have to see him?
是的 我們的爸爸得了個大獎
Yeah, our dads are getting this big award,
因爲他們已經舉辦這個聖誕市場
because they've been putting on the Christmas Market
快30年了
for, like, 30 years,
所以市長會給他們城市之鑰匙
so the mayor's giving them keys to the city.
然後 我們的父母
And then, our parents do this big bonfire
每年都在聖誕前夕會弄大篝火活動
right before Christmas Eve every year, and
從我們還是孩子的時候就開始了
they've been doing it since we were kids.
能打破這些傳統嗎?
Any chance of breaking those traditions?
我是說 我可以跳過篝火 但是
I mean, I can probably skip that bonfire, but...
不行 這個市場對我的家庭來說真的很特別
No, the market's really really special to my family.
還有我
And me.
如果你帶個伴呢?
What if you bring a date?
哦 那我也得找得到纔行
Oh, yes, cool, I'll just go get a date real fast.
我認識的每個男人不是結婚就是
Every guy I know is either married or...
跟我情況差不多
or related to me.
好吧 沒事的 我們會想辦法的
All right, it's gonna be OK. We'll think of something.
好吧 我們給你找個伴
All right, let's find you a date.
也許
Maybe...
不
Nope!
那個
Here we go.
哦
Oh...
但這並不像聽起來那麼刺♥激♥ 你知道嗎?
But like, it's not as exciting as it sounds, you know?
事實上 大多數出版商只想賣♥♥書
In fact, most publishers, they only wanna sell books...
有了
And, bingo.
嘿 老大哥
Hey, big brother,
再提醒我一次你的聖誕計劃
remind me of your Christmas plans again.
你知道我要和馬丁的家人去科羅拉多嗎
You know how I'm going to Colorado with Martin's family,
媽媽和爸爸正在地中海巡遊？
and Mom and Dad are doing that Mediterranean cruise?
我覺得你已經給我講過了
I feel like you've lectured me about this already.
呃 我沒有任何計劃
Uh, I don't have any plans.
我去寫作了
I'm just gonna be writing.
-你應該和朱莉一起回家 -什麼？
- You should go home with Jolie. - What?
你可以在路易斯安那和貴德里斯共度聖誕節
Yeah, you'll spend Christmas in Louisiana with the Guidrys.
什麼？
What?
你總是說你想要更多的旅行
You're always saying you wanna travel more.
是的 獨行
Yeah. Alone.
你可以隨時獨處啊
You can be alone anytime.
我錯過了什麼？
What am I missing?
娜歐米這番良苦用心呢
What Naomi is doing with the subtlety of a baboon,
是想給我一個聖誕節的伴兒
I might add, is trying to get me a date for Christmas,
因爲福斯特要帶一個可愛的新女朋友回家 所以
'cause Foster's bringing home a new cute girlfriend, so...
你不用和我一起去路易斯安那
You don't have to go with me to Louisiana.
哦 不 不 不 不 你應該去
Oh, no, no, no, no. You should go.
聽着 光是喫的就值得去旅行
Listen, the food alone is worth the trip.
馬丁
Martin!
確實如此 你可以在任何地方寫作
Exactly. And you can write from anywhere.
夥計們 要讓他假裝是我男朋友
Guys, he'd be, like, pretending to be my boyfriend.
這很奇怪
That's... It's weird.
-我很奇怪？ -不 我是說 你不是
- I'm weird? - No, I mean, you're not...
你人不奇怪 我是說這情況很奇怪
You're not weird, but the situation is weird.
看到了嗎？好了 你們已經聽起來像一對了
See? There you go. You already sound like a couple.
不 我們沒有
No, we don't.
好吧 那如果說只是一個朋友呢
OK, what if it's more like a buffer than a boyfriend?
你懂的 讓你少一點 尷尬
You know, a plus-one to make it less... awkward.
哦 不那麼尷尬 很好
Oh, less awkward. Cool.
完全正確 但是 寶貝
Exactly, but, baby,
傑克能從這得到什麼好處呢？
what would Jack be getting out of this?
是的 傑克有什麼好處？
Yeah, what would Jack be getting out of this?
知道自己在幫朋友帶來的快樂
The joy of knowing that you're helping out a friend.
說不通
Ooh, hard pass.
實際上 我需要一個網站來寫作
Actually, I could use a website for my novel.
是的 很不錯
Yes! Perfect.
不 沒有冒犯的意思
No. I mean, no offense, but you're just
你不是最可靠的人
not the most reliable guy.
此話怎講？
What does that mean?
不好意思 你不記得了
I'm sorry, do you not remember,
5個月前是什麼樣子嗎？
what was that, like, 5 months ago?
好吧 等等 等等 我錯過了什麼？
OK, wait, hold on, what am I missing?
她沒告訴你？
She didn't tell you?
馬丁 我六個月前搬到這裏的時候
Martin. OK, when I moved here, like, 6 months ago,
娜奧米覺得把我和她哥哥撮合在一起
Naomi thought it would be a great idea
是個不錯的主意 因爲我誰都不認識
to set me up with her brother, because I didn't know anybody.
但是後來 傑克放我鴿子
Only, Jack stood me up!
不 我沒有 我沒有放你鴿子
Woop, no. I did not! I did not stand you up.
我打了個電♥話♥說取消了 這跟放鴿子有很大區別
I called and cancelled. There's a very big difference.
不管怎麼說 你都放鴿子了
Either way, you flaked! So how do I know
所以我怎麼知道如果我給你搞了個網站
I'm not gonna put all this work into a website
什麼都準備好了 結果你又不來機場？
and you just won't show up at the airport?
如果我在辦公室的話
You know, if I was at the office,
這問題很容易就可以解決
this would be a quick fix.
你什麼意思？
What do you mean?
很簡單
Easy.
我要寫一份合同
I'd write a contract.