歡迎來到藍鵲營
Welcome to Camp Blue Finch,
在這裏陽光下的浪漫也可能會變得致命
where romance in the sun can turn deadly!
有史以來最棒的暑假
Best summer ever!
這個暑假將會改變你的人生
This is the summer that's going to change your life.
在這裏每天都很溫暖
Where the days are warm...
嘿 南希那吉他太酷了
Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice.
謝謝布萊克你髮型很帥
Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair.
這些女孩很酷
...the girls are cool...
而邪惡則四處潛伏着
And evil lurks around every corner.
天哪 你嚇了我一跳
Gosh, you startled me.
所以我只需要沿着這條路 一直走下去
So, I just go down that path all the way?
像你這樣的男人想去哪都行
A guy like you can go anywhere he wants.
而任何時候 比利都可能出手殺人
And any moment, - Billy can strike.
那時人們將不會再吟唱 到這來
They won't be singing Kumbaya.
他們將會尖叫 到 這 不
They'll be screaming Kum Ba No!
整理好行李去浴血營地吧
Pack your bags for Camp Bloodbath...
你惹了不該惹的處♥女♥
You just messed with the wrong virgin.
在那裏你的神智
...where the only marshmallow
將會被榨乾至淨
that will roast is your sanity.
好吧他們讓我等回覆
Well, they'll let me know.
你知道自己對演這種爛片是屈才了對吧
You know you're too good for this crap, right?
那些選角導演只會說我記得你好像演過什麼電影來着
The casting director was all like, "I know you from somewhere."
所以我就回 真的嗎 可能是因爲
And I went, "Really? Oh, it's probably
我之前出演過CSI的躁鬱症主婦吧
"my arc on CSI as a bipolar mistress."
然後他說不我想起來了是
And he's like, "No, I got it. Camp Bloodbath."
難道我要一輩子都被都活在那電影裏嗎
Am I ever going to live that movie down?
都已經是20年前的事了
I mean, it was 20 years ago.
說真的如果你當演員的話
Honestly, if you ever become an actor,
永遠也不要去演恐怖片
don't ever do a slasher flick.
你永遠不會發現我被一部電影套牢 你纔是真正的女演員
You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie. You're the actress here.
說得太對了
Damn straight.
還有我不是女演員我是一個電影明星
And I'm no actress. I'm a movie star.
去梅爾餐廳喫東西
Mel's?
可以
Mel's.
我們上陣吧
Let's rock and roll.
在下個星期一之前 我們
So, we owe the electric company
還差電費公♥司♥174.99美元
$174.88 by next Monday...
你記得弗蘭克嗎
You remember Frank?
他之前說這個週末他想
He told me he was going to take me
帶我去棕擱泉玩
to Palm Springs this weekend.
沒有留言沒有發短♥信♥
No message. No text.
一點都不意外
No surprise.
他說我們是天生的一對
You know, it's just he said we were exclusive.
他是那麼說了 只是沒照做而已
Well, he said it, he doesn't act like it.
隨便啦我又知道些什麼呢
Whatever. What do I know?
你一定覺得我完全是個輸家
You must think I'm a total zero.
操他的媽媽
Screw him, Mom.
也操他那棕擱泉破旅館
And screw his shady hotel in Palm Springs.
天吶
Oh, my God.
看看你關心我的方式
Look at you taking care of me.
之前那個曾和我在
What happened to that little girl
後院跳舞的小女孩哪去了
I used to dance with in the backyard?
她長大瞭然後想要搞清楚
She grew up and is trying to figure out
該怎樣才能擺平這1.74美元
where this $174 is gonna come from.
你在做什麼你瘋了嗎
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
我們的主題曲
Our song!
媽媽我們需要好好研究下賬單
Mom. We need to figure this out.
你真是一個呆瓜
You're such a dork.
我做錯了生命中所有的選擇
Everything in my life, I got wrong.
除了你 這個選擇是正確的
But you, I got you right.
我愛你你知道的對吧
I love you. You know that, right?
怎麼了
What?
沒什麼
Nothing.
沒什麼
Nothing.
麥克斯它們很貴的
Max, those are really expensive...
倖存的女孩
三年後
格蒂來了
Gertie's here.
馬上來珀爾阿姨
Coming, Aunt Pearl.
所以克里斯要你一起學習的時候他是這麼說的嗎
So, when Chris asked you to study, was he like,
我希望你過來學習
"I want you to come study"?
還是這樣說的 我希望你高♥潮♥[過來]
Or was he like, "I want you to come.
一起學習
"Study."
拜託 我只是不想考試不合格纔去的
Please. I'm only going, so I don't flunk Classics.
得了吧你知道他上星期剛和維姬分手不是嗎
Come on, you know that he broke up with Vicki last week, right?
那女人一團糟
And she is a mess.
你看過她放在自己臉譜網首頁上的那首
Have you seen the veiled suicide note/poem
語義不明的自殺詩歌♥了麼
she posted on her Facebook page?
太好笑了
It's so hilarious.
我對着自己大聲朗讀了
I read it out loud to myself.
很多遍
A lot.
嗯
Hmm.
嘿 勇敢前進
Hey, just keep on keeping on.
這句話是什麼意義
What does that even mean?
只是我的治療師告訴我的一句話
Something my therapist tells me all the time.
你有治療師 嗯
You have a therapist? Mmm-hmm.
對你有幫助嗎
Does that help you deal?
沒 沒什麼用
Mmm. No, not really.
她是一個理療師所以...
She's a physical therapist, so...
好的 珀爾塞福涅之謎
Okay. So, the myth of Persephone.
麥克斯來試試這道題
Max, you want to take this one?
好啊
Sure.
她是宙斯的女兒
She's the daughter of Zeus
她喫了石榴的種子
and she eats pomegranate seeds,
然後冥王哈迪斯把她綁♥架♥到了冥界
and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld.
是的 很好
Yeah. Okay, good.
那麼他們回到了冥界
So, they go back to the underworld
然後珀爾塞福涅嚇壞了
and Persephone is freaking out,
冥王這樣安慰 她 沒事的沒事的
and Hermes is like, "It's okay, it's okay.
一直向前看
"Just keep looking forward,
否則我們 就 要永遠被困在這裏了
"or we'll be stuck here forever."
麥克斯你要不要把它記下來或是...
Max, do you want to jot any of this down or...
奧 不用麥克斯我已經給你準備了一份複印稿
Oh, no, it's okay, Max. I've already got a copy.
你可以之後借去複印
You can copy from me later
或者我也可以直接給你如果你想要的話
or I can give it to you if you... If you want.
我還是閉嘴吧
I'm gonna stop talking.
噢 該死 麥克斯 嘿 等等
Oh, shit. Max, hey, wait.
你沒有收到我的短♥信♥嗎 鄧肯 別這樣
Did you not get my messages? Duncan. No.
別這樣 求你了
Please, come on. Please.
認真的嗎 不 要
Seriously, no.
我告訴浴血魔術師們說 阿曼達 卡特賴特的女兒
The Bath-maticians were so excited when I told them
是我妹妹最好的朋友的時候他們都興奮死了
that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
是繼妹
Step-sister.
是繼妹
Step-sister.
你幹嘛要那麼說 這太傷我的心了
Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
拜託了麥克斯我向他們保證了你會去的
Please, Max, I promised that you'd be there.
我是大學電影部的副總經理
I am the assistant general manager
爲我的名聲考慮考慮嘛
of the varsity. Think of my reputation.
等等什麼是浴血魔術師
Wait. What are "Bath-maticians"?
啊 浴血營地的粉絲們
Uh, Camp Bloodbath fans.
那是我們自取的超讚的呢稱
It's kind of our awesome nickname.
你知道嗎 當你們自己給自己取名字的時候
Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool
就一點也不讚了
when you give it to yourself?
你知道嗎 格蒂
You know what, Gertie?
當我爸告訴我我將有一個妹妹 的時候我哭了
When my dad told me that I was going to get a sister, I cried
因爲我一直想要一個妹妹
because that's all I'd ever wanted.
但不是你這樣的妹妹 絕對不是
But not like this. Not like this.
別
Don't.
聽着浴血營地可以說是全部
Look, Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy
營地恐怖片的始祖
of all campsite slasher films, okay.
超棒的的作品設計
Amazing production design,