Welcome to Camp Blue Finch,
where romance in the sun can turn deadly!
Best summer ever!
This is the summer that's going to change your life.
Where the days are warm...
Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice.
Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair.
...the girls are cool...
And evil lurks around every corner.
Gosh, you startled me.
So, I just go down that path all the way?
A guy like you can go anywhere he wants.
And any moment, - Billy can strike.
They won't be singing Kumbaya.
他們將會尖叫 到 這 不
They'll be screaming Kum Ba No!
Pack your bags for Camp Bloodbath...
You just messed with the wrong virgin.
...where the only marshmallow
that will roast is your sanity.
Well, they'll let me know.
You know you're too good for this crap, right?
The casting director was all like, "I know you from somewhere."
所以我就回 真的嗎 可能是因爲
And I went, "Really? Oh, it's probably
"my arc on CSI as a bipolar mistress."
And he's like, "No, I got it. Camp Bloodbath."
Am I ever going to live that movie down?
I mean, it was 20 years ago.
Honestly, if you ever become an actor,
don't ever do a slasher flick.
You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie. You're the actress here.
And I'm no actress. I'm a movie star.
Let's rock and roll.
So, we owe the electric company
$174.88 by next Monday...
You remember Frank?
He told me he was going to take me
to Palm Springs this weekend.
No message. No text.
You know, it's just he said we were exclusive.
Well, he said it, he doesn't act like it.
Whatever. What do I know?
You must think I'm a total zero.
Screw him, Mom.
And screw his shady hotel in Palm Springs.
Oh, my God.
Look at you taking care of me.
What happened to that little girl
I used to dance with in the backyard?
She grew up and is trying to figure out
where this $174 is gonna come from.
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Mom. We need to figure this out.
You're such a dork.
Everything in my life, I got wrong.
But you, I got you right.
I love you. You know that, right?
Max, those are really expensive...
Coming, Aunt Pearl.
So, when Chris asked you to study, was he like,
"I want you to come study"?
Or was he like, "I want you to come.
Please. I'm only going, so I don't flunk Classics.
Come on, you know that he broke up with Vicki last week, right?
And she is a mess.
Have you seen the veiled suicide note/poem
she posted on her Facebook page?
It's so hilarious.
I read it out loud to myself.
Hey, just keep on keeping on.
What does that even mean?
Something my therapist tells me all the time.
You have a therapist? Mmm-hmm.
Does that help you deal?
Mmm. No, not really.
She's a physical therapist, so...
Okay. So, the myth of Persephone.
Max, you want to take this one?
She's the daughter of Zeus
and she eats pomegranate seeds,
and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld.
Yeah. Okay, good.
So, they go back to the underworld
and Persephone is freaking out,
冥王這樣安慰 她 沒事的沒事的
and Hermes is like, "It's okay, it's okay.
"Just keep looking forward,
否則我們 就 要永遠被困在這裏了
"or we'll be stuck here forever."
Max, do you want to jot any of this down or...
Oh, no, it's okay, Max. I've already got a copy.
You can copy from me later
or I can give it to you if you... If you want.
I'm gonna stop talking.
噢 該死 麥克斯 嘿 等等
Oh, shit. Max, hey, wait.
你沒有收到我的短♥信♥嗎 鄧肯 別這樣
Did you not get my messages? Duncan. No.
Please, come on. Please.
認真的嗎 不 要
我告訴浴血魔術師們說 阿曼達 卡特賴特的女兒
The Bath-maticians were so excited when I told them
that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
Please, Max, I promised that you'd be there.
I am the assistant general manager
of the varsity. Think of my reputation.
Wait. What are "Bath-maticians"?
Uh, Camp Bloodbath fans.
It's kind of our awesome nickname.
Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool
when you give it to yourself?
You know what, Gertie?
When my dad told me that I was going to get a sister, I cried
because that's all I'd ever wanted.
But not like this. Not like this.
Look, Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy
of all campsite slasher films, okay.
Amazing production design,
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