劇集 | 一起單身（2018） | 導航列表
看 班吉 我是個漂亮女孩
Look, Benji. I'm a pretty girl.
I don't eat carbs, because I am carbs.
That's disgusting. I'm not eating the spaghetti now.
-爲什麼 怎麼了 -你手髒
- Why? What's wrong with it? - Your hands are dirty.
People do surgery on open hearts with their bare hands,
and you're telling me I can't touch your pasta?
- They wear gloves. - No, they don't.
- Yeah, they do. - You can't put a glove in an open human body.
Doctors go like "this" with the glove.
And then they go like "this" when it's time to go in.
No, that's how you lose a glove inside a body.
脫下手套 交給助理 進入
Take the glove off, hand it to your assistant, go in.
There are third world countries
that have doctors with gloves.
Girl Scout Cookies?
Thin Mints, you know it.
Thank God you're home. OK, I don't want to bother you,
I have to... I'm on a charity bike ride.
I hit a pothole a few miles back,
and it did a number on my descending colon.
Yeah, I get it. I've got IBS.
I try to avoid crotch-based exercises,
'cause my whole undercarriage is really sensitive, and it's just...
- Those bicycle seats. No one's friend. - OK. Cool.
Thanks for the advice, but I'm actually in a position
where I need to use your bathroom,and that's why I'm here.
Benji, don't forget the Thin Mints.
He's not a cookie salesman... yeah.
There's a Starbucks at the bottom of the hill.
- No... - If you're going to Starbucks,
will you grab me a vegan eggnog latte?
-不用給她帶 -我知道是季節限定 不過他們會做的
- You don't have to. - I know it's seasonal. No, they'll make it.
No, I'm not gonna make it.
-好吧 -太好了 謝謝 拿着頭盔
- OK. - Yes! OK, thank you so much. Hold my helmet.
- Thank you so much. - Yeah, it's just right up there.
-我不擔心 -裏面有... 我不...
- Yeah, I'm not worried. - There's a... yeah, I wouldn't...
- OK. - He was kinda hot.
是啊 挺強壯 結腸突出 像個好人
Yeah, he's athletic, colon-forward, seems like a good guy.
Who just walked into my bathroom?
Your friend? You know what?
You only have one friend, OK? And I'm staring at her right now.
Dean, it was a shitting man on a bicycle.
I tried to stop Benji, I swear.
Why would you let a stranger into my house?
我... 我... 我不知道
I... I... I don't know.
Is it 'cause you hate me?
You hate your brother? I'm your brother!
不 我不討厭... 我愛你
No, no, I don't hate... I love you.
I love you.
All right, well, that's very nice,
but do you know what the funny thing about loving someone is?
When you love somebody, especially somebody that feeds you
and houses you, you don't let a homeless man
come in and use your $8000 Japanese toilet.
迪恩 我想告訴你 我從來沒用過你的廁所
Dean, I just want you to know that I have never used your bathroom,
and I have never masturbated in your bed
on Christmas while you were out of town.
That means you have. That means she has.
I tell her not to go in your room. She doesn't listen.
Right now, my toilet is blasting
some strange man's perineum with lavender water, OK?
我現在直犯惡心 我... 老實說
God, I'm so grossed out right now. I am... honestly?
I am grossed out by everybody that you bring into this house.
I think you're overreacting. I was just being nice.
你不是什麼心腸好 只是個軟蛋 不敢跟陌生人說"不"
You're not nice, dude. You're just too beta to say "no" to a stranger.
軟蛋也不差 好歹還是第二名呢[貝塔是希臘字母表的第2個字母] 是銀牌
I mean, beta's not bad. That's number two. That's a silver medal.
You know what? You're not even a beta.
You know what you are? You're a cuck.
就這樣數 A B C 大佬 軟蛋 綠帽
That's what it goes. A - B - C. Alpha, Beta, Cuck.
I am not a cuck.
- Yes, you are a cuck. - I can't be a cuck.
- I don't have a wife. - Technicalities.
OK, look, some people might be cucks. Some people might be alphas.
We have to celebrate diversity.
Thanks, dude. Totally.
That toilet is a real trip to Thailand.
謝謝幫忙拿頭盔 你好 我是保羅
Thanks for holdin' that. Hey, Paul.
Didn't he seem nice?
You're like a koala goin' at a eucalyptus tree
like it ain't nothing.
Is it weird that I like to watch you eat?
你好平靜 但... 喫得又猛
You're so still, but... violent.
It's not weird at all.
A lot of people like to watch me eat.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Like who? - Can't tell.
You can't tell? I'm pretty sure
I'm the only one in this demo.
All right, Benji.
I didn't want to have to do this,
but you've backed me into a corner.
I have a deep, dark secret.
Guys! It's the Esther Bunny!
It's Easter, so you know what that means.
It's time to watch me put 30 marshmallow bunnies in my mouth.
Online eating videos were my creative outlet when I first moved to L.A.
You have 100,000 views.
Things took off really fast.
I kinda got overwhelmed, and I decided to walk away.
Plus, I dropped my webcam in fondue.
Guys, bring 'er in right here.
Toilet goes right around the corner in there.
And, if you guys need to go to the bathroom,
just make sure to go all over my brother's bed,
because he's too nice to say "no" to strangers. OK.
You're gonna get a new toilet?
You don't even know what that guy did
in your bathroom. He could a hovered.
It was a Tempur-Pedic seat, so nobody was hovering.
By the way,
could you wait on putting the word out
to the meth community about my new toilet?
I want to wait till it's completely installed.
What a drama queen.
You messed up.
Speaking of which, what just happened here?
Those are like these little piggy snouts
that people give you when they like you.
- Piggy snouts? - Yeah, it's like
a fun digital currency, like...
"Good job, piggy."
艾絲特 上面寫了"B" 是比特幣
Esther, that's a "B." That's bit-coin.
It's not a sideways piggy snout?
That probably wasn't worth much back then,
但現在 我猜 大概值一萬六了吧
but I think you have, I don't know, like, 16 grand there?
劇集 | 一起單身（2018） | 導航列表