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Ramy, have you ever dated a Muslim girl?
No, I‐I haven't. That's‐‐that's why I'm doing this.
I'm trying to meet someone, you know, different.
To be perfectly honest, I made the intention
to meet with multiple people for the purpose of marriage.
How much of the Quran do you have memorized?
You know, the classics.
Every time I get close to figuring something out about myself,
I end up in a relationship or doing something stupid.
You seem like one of the good ones.
I'm trying to be good.
I received a phone call today
from a guy I knew from the mosque.
Apparently, you have been, uh, seeing his wife, Salma.
You're all like,
"I do these things, and I don't do these things,
so I'm this kind of person," right?
It's a trick of the devil, bro.
I want to know who I am.
I want to explore.
Do you want to hang out later?
I could change, and we could go somewhere.
好啊 好 好
Yeah, yeah, cool.
Bro, that's your cousin.
Hot! Lock it up!
What part of "she's my cousin" don't you get?
媽 我在睡覺 別吵
What the fuck, man?
- You guys are back home? - What the‐‐?
Dude, you haven't talked to any of us
since you got back from Egypt.
Center for ISIS?
Smells like come in here.
Dude, why are you holding Steve?
- You don't have a ramp. - He is a bag of bones,
but he's a heavy bag of bones.
- Did you fuck you cousin? - No. Calm down.
Ramy didn't fornicate with his cousin.
He's just sad that his grandpa died.
對吧 拉米 沒發♥生♥關♥系♥吧
Right, Ramy? You didn't fornicate?
Yeah, no, I didn't fornicate with my cousin,
and I'm not fucking anybody, all right?
I'm sorry that I haven't been hanging out with you guys.
I've just, um‐‐you know, a lot happened,
and‐‐and‐‐and I've been processing.
Processing? You mean jerking off?
- No. - What do you mean "no"?
Your mom says you're not working.
You say you're not fucking.
So you're obviously jerking off.
Why are you talking to my mom?
You look like shit, okay?
Somehow you got fatter and skinnier at the same time.
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Ramy, you don't seem spiritually connected.
Are you praying five times a day?
He's jerking off five times a day.
There you go. Bring it home, buddy.
I think I need that too.
There you go.
Listen, I don't know if Islam has interventions,
but get your shit together.
You're a fucking mess.
I'm gonna get him back in his chair.
You disgust me.
Come on, Steve.
Ramy, you haven't been going to Friday prayers
since you've been back.
I want you to come with me to see the imam.
Your mom and I talked to him.
You talked to the imam with my mom?
Yeah, we FaceTime.
Oh, you got to open up a window in here.
Close your eyes.
You want me to sing to you?
你好 願你平安 親愛的
Hello. Alaikum salam, habibi.
Good to see you.
Thanks for seeing me.
You're not leaving the mosque, are you?
不 不 我不是要離開這個清♥真♥寺
No, no. I'm not leaving the mosque.
I‐‐I really didn't want to come at first,
but I've been starting to feel like
I maybe should talk to somebody.
Yes, your mom says you haven't been going to work.
You are feeling sad since your grandfather passed?
I mean, yeah, I'm upset about that.
But...I think it's a bigger problem‐‐
like, a problem that I've had for a while,
and maybe I didn't realize it,
or maybe it's gotten worse, but...
It feels like every time I get close
to figuring something out about myself, I...
end up in a relationship...
like, a sexual relationship.
And it's not just sex. It's‐‐it's‐‐it's...
it's also porn.
Like, a‐‐like, a lot of‐‐
行了 行了 夠了
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Enough.
We don't need too many details, okay?
- Okay. - I know the solutions.
First, read the last three surahs of the Quran every night.
It will help keep the shaitan away.
Second, I need you to maintain your wudu throughout the day.
It will help keep Allah on your mind at all times.
You go to the bathroom, you make wudu.
放屁後 立刻小淨 不要猶豫
You pass gas, you go make wudu right away, no hesitation.
This is very important.
Lastly, try fasting.
If there's no food,
the other things do not get so much energy.
Okay, um, I've tried a lot of these things.
我在齋月期間一直做禮拜 齋戒 但我還是
Like, I've prayed and fasted all Ramadan, and I still‐‐
So be like our prophet.
Our prophet did not watch porn. Be like a prophet.
It's just the prophet did not have porn, so‐‐
The prophet is the prophet.
I gotta go.
And you should go to work!
拉米 願你平安 兄弟
Ramy! Salams, bro.
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